priorities

Antonio and I recently went to a market where they sell anything from a head of lettuce to luke warm beer. As we were walking along I noticed this gigantic table of old porno videos.......with lovely names like Thrust.

At any rate, I couldn´t help but laugh as I walked by because this man that was about 80 years old was trying to decide between Thrust and another spicey flick. Eww. ¨That was somebody´s grandpa¨ was all I could think. Instead of buying toys for the grandchildren he´s out buying porno flicks.

At least he´s got his priorities straight.

Eww,
SF

Dreamy

I had a dream that I got shot last night. I was on a tube in the water with a motor and this guy shot at me, so I jumped off the tube and he thought I died. THEN, these killer guys were in a room sitting around the table (my dad was ironically part of the group) and I was hiding under a table. Some guy went to the bathroom and spotted me so I decided to change hiding spaces. Then, I went to this big warehouse place and just as this guy found me and was about to shoot me in the head I woke up. Maybe I had that dream because I watched Oceans 12 before going to bed.

And then I dreamt I was Reese Witherspoons babysitter...haha

Today we went to lunch and there were three little kids literally rolling on the ground. Two things that are sad about this 1)Their parents don´t even care and...2)Their parents don´t even care!!! haha

I mean, they were rolling up and down the ramp where all of the waiters need to walk to get by and no one said a word! I think the kid finally broke something and then the parents finally came over. Unbelievable...but it´s normal here. Yikes!

While we were parked in the car this lady came over with her baby and started pounding on our window...we heard the word hospital before we sped off...she just wanted money. Poor little child, it was cold out today too and she´s just using him for money. Sad.

Dreaming of a white X mas,
SF

Remembering Challenger

I only had five years under my belt when the Challenger exploded, but I remember that day. I remember something big...and bad had happened in the world.

An eternity practicing, waiting, jabbering, anxiety, nervousness and only 73 seconds of glory.

Here´s to you Mike, Ellison, Judy, Ron, Greg Krista, and Dick .......for following your dreams.


We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved good-bye and 'slipped the surly bonds of Earth' to 'touch the face of God.
-- President Ronald Reagan after the Challenger disaster

Yahoo!

Today I found a ¨Today´s Big Hits¨ radio station on Yahoo.com. This is very exciting news. Primarily because here in Spain we have very few ¨new songs¨ and if I have to hear Madonnas ¨hung up¨ song one more time I could possibly hang myself.

Also, usually the yahoo station doesn´t play because it says I´m too far away...? I am so excited I could pee all over! This summer I was jamming to Kanye Wests ¨gold digger¨ in Indiana because it was the first time I had heard it and it had been out for at least a few months. My bad! I get to hear and see things here and hey...it´s better late than never I suppose!

Today we went to the campo and one of my birds is sick. He was on the floor and couldn´t even fly and was breathing like he had just run a marathon or two. So, we put him on the tree limb and walked out to see what he would do. He did a cannonball and landed on my rabbits face! He was on my rabbits EYE BALL for at least five seconds until she flung it off. That was one of the funniest things I´d seen in a long time, the bird is a smart one...he wanted to land on something soft and furry. Excellent!

Enjoying my YAHOO music
SF

A little privacy please?

So, I had just woken up and I was sitting on the toilet enjoying my first morning pee when click, the door opened a crack. I was thinking hmm...I thought I had shut that all the way. It was Antonio´s mom. She opened the door a crack and she goes, ¨Can I come in? I need to get something.¨ Umm. ¨No.¨ And she goes ¨Oh, come on...¨ And she just walked right in, opened the closet, got the broom and dust pan out and goes, ¨thanks¨ Then the door closed. Click. It was all over just like that. As I´m still on the toilet with my pants pulled down I said to myself, ¨Did that just happen?¨ And then I started laughing hysterically, on the toilet, all by myself.......only me, only me.

This afternoon after I had worked out I went to my locker room to take a shower. Only, as I walked in there was a man standing there washing his hands. Hmm. Apparently he had gotten confused and walked into the wrong locker room. Thank GOD he didn´t walk in when I was hopping out of the shower...naked. Can you even imagine that? Actually, I´m kind of surprised that DIDN´T happen...maybe tomorrow.

It´s raining live animals right now....and it´s supposed to be that way for the next three days. Ick.

I talked to my friend yesterday online and he said, ¨It´s snowing balls here in Chicago.¨ Oh how I miss how my friends talk. I laughed for about an hour afterwards. yup. The little things entertain me.

Trying to pee in peace,
SF

slip a dip

Today wasn´t a good shower day at the gym. I was getting ready to get in and I thought I heard someone coming so I got all panicked and slipped. I banged my shin so hard on the side of the shower that I have not one, but two knots. It turns out, no one was even coming. The whole shower my leg was throbbing like someone had just struck me with a baseball bat and I was not a happy camper.

Then, as I was getting out a class had just gotten over so there were five women standing around talking...and then out I come. So they all sort of stopped talking, looked at me, and then started talking again. Talk about embarrasing. The whole time I was like ¨do dee do dee do¨ and thinking...get dressed as fast as you can fattie! I have been in a bad mood ever since. I think they think I´m weird because women don´t really shower at the gym, I think thats a guy thing. So, I´m an outcast.

Today at breakfast a guy ordered brandy.......at 11 am. Awesome!


Clean with bruises,
SF

Mad...who´s mad?

Howdy Doodie.

Today started out with a good workout...good times.

Then I went to the city to buy a phonecard and starbucks. I saw a girl riding her bike and it looked like she was just wearing underwear her pants had fallen down so far. A and I had a good laugh about that one. Did she not notice all of the air streaming down her back? Also, a guy had his pants pulled down so far it looked like he had crapped in them a few times. Ok, wasn´t that the style in the early 90s? I hated it then and I hate it now. Buy a belt! Ate some lunch and listened to the song ¨lunch lady land¨by Adam Sandler. ¨hogies and grinders, hogies and grinders, navy beans navy beans.¨ That song rocks. That takes you way back doesn´t it?

We then went to the store to buy a female canary. We have diego, so today we bought diana. They are in the same cage, but we built a wall between them because they aren´t supposed to see each other...until the end of February. They have to gear up for the moment and then wham. They´ll see each other and it will be love at first sight...and hopefully babies won´t be too far behind. Yay canary love. It seems so simple and free.

Then I went with Antonio´s mom to get some glasses. She pretty much can´t see anymore. When she finally got her glasses she was like YAY I can see and then she looked in the mirror and was like ¨whoa, who´s that? I haven´t seen myself in so long.¨ And then she also said, ¨I hope I still think my husband is attractive.¨ And then I just lost it. Amazing. We then went to buy clothes for her..but she has a belly like she´s prego so nothing fits. And I don´t feel bad saying that because I just told her that to her face and she said, ¨I know.¨ haha. It´s open like that in Spain. People tell me I look fatter all the time...you just go with it. Then I bought Starbucks...for the 2nd time today. I´m addicted. I need serious medical help.

THEN I got to speak with my grandparents on the phone. Amazing. Did you know my g ma has had cancer FOUR times...and is currently going through chemo. She´s amazing. Also, my g pa is the smartest man I´ve ever met in my entire life. Every time I talk to him I smile for at least a good ten minutes afterwards. I got to talk to him today and it made my year! It´s incredible what he knows at 83 yrs of age. He knows every date, time, day, hour, name, number in history! You name it. Today he was asking me about the population in Spain and then telling me all about the population compared to CA and how it´s similar and then telling me all about Spain and what he had read. I mean the man reads. He´s a genius! If you need to know, just ask him. He has it stored in his special chip in his brain. Down to the exact detail. They´re driving from IN to FL in a few days...and he´s 83. He goes, ¨Ya, it´s not too bad of a drive.¨ Oh, and then he said, ¨Hey where is MAAAAD Rid? Like Mad Rid with a super accent on the AAAAAAAAAAAAA part of Madrid. It took me a few seconds to figure out what the heck he was talking about, and then my heart sprung a leak and I loved him even more for saying it that way. I love you grandpa!

Hats off to you Maaaaaaaadrid.
SF

Octo WHAT?!

Climax of the day: plucking out stray nose hairs. It´s true folks, I looked in the mirror and I saw black nose hairs sticking out of my nose. Ok, first of all it´s just disgusting that we have nose hairs, second of all, I can´t believe I have ¨stray¨ ones at 25 years old. Hairs just start growing in weird places we never knew we had as we get older. Ok, here´s a question for ya:Have you ever officially plucked out one of your own nose hairs? Do you know how bad it hurts? I am going to go ahead and equate it to that of birth pains (or possibly worse). YOWZERS is all there is to say. I honestly think I cried a little bit. But, what can you do? I certainly can´t have stray nose hairs.


Also, convo with Antonio. (IN English)

A:LOOK! It´s an octopus_ _!

Me: No, Antonio. That´s octopus! Leave the ¨sy¨ off at the end.

A: OH

We still have lots of work to do!

Plucking nose hairs on a regular basis,
SF

Ode to will

I got some DVDs over X mas and Old School was one of them...the best movie ever, and of course Will Ferrell is my hero. Man, features are so amazing on DVDs, and I never realized that before, I´ve been watching features for about an hour.

Anyways, in Old School Will Ferrell does his character James Lipton from SNL and it´s amazing. So, James Lipton (Will Ferell) is interviewing Will Ferrell and he says...

And I quote

¨Will Ferrell, I look at you and I look into the dull lifeless eyes of a manican. Yet, you are powerful.¨

I´m still rolling on the floor laughing.

Break my back Mountain

Have you ever just sat and listened in the weights part of the gym. With all of the grunting and sighs it just sounds so....sexual. It´s actually quite entertaining.

Speaking of sexual, we went for a walk in the park yesterday and saw a peacock fanning his feathers and turning in circles around the female peacock. Cool! I never knew their feathers were out when they were ¨in the mood¨ He´s like ¨Hey lil´lady look at me!! I´m all feathers and then some!¨

Yesterday my dog walked over, sat on my foot, and farted. My foot vibrated for like ten minutes afterwords, and I think there was a small hole in my shoe (and sock). Thanks Chicky.

I cleaned my friends house again and as I walked in her doberman pinscher decided to sniff my crotch. Ya, I was pretty much just scared. I really didn´t want a dobermans face in my privates. And, as I was bending over getting clothes out of the washer his nose was up my butt! Ok mister, that´s quite enough! I´m not a dog! Next time I´ll wear a chastity belt.

I saw the movie Brokeback Mt. last night, you know, about the gay cowboys. I pretty much almost puked when it showed them doing it. It was a little over the top for me. After I saw that part, the whole rest of the movie I was just thinking ¨I hope they don´t show them doing it again.¨ Good Lord! Actually, I hope I never have to see that again as long as I live. I would die a happier person. I don´t understand why it won so many awards, I give it a six.

Until next time America
SF

skin and bones

It´s so lovely to walk in the city. The weather was beautiful tonight, people were playing instruments on the streets, winter sales are going on and then boom. I saw it. ...(him) It was like this hammer hit me over the head and I was reminded of ...well, a skeleton. I mean, this man was literally SKIN and BONES. There was no FAT in this guy. He had his shirt off, and he was bent over begging for money. He was a skeleton man. What the heck? How did he get this way? Someone buy this man a steak!

I never know what emotion to feel when I see people like this. Although, I must admit I´ve never seen anyone this bad...it was like shock and horror. It was one of those things when you curl your lips up and walk by and say ¨good God¨ If I give this man money will he buy drugs? Alcohol? Cigarettes...or will he ACTUALLY buy food. Obviously not...not this guy.

Here´s to you food...we love ya

SF

Boyz in da hood re make.

A friend of mine sent this in for his boyz in da hood. It´s a re-do of my blog yesterday. Enjoy.

Light a mizzatch . Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos.that´s wizzle i do anyways. ya know,W-H-to-tha-izzen you go numba 2, takes tha kidsta tha pool, let tha turtle swim..ya git mahdrift . Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. ya, so if you don´t want tha bathroom smell'n like a sewageplant ....just light a match cuz I'm fresh outthe pen. it takes tha sulfur out tha air n itdoesn´t smizzay like what jizzy happened in thabathroom actually happened. so, i did thatyesterday...i lit a match, only tha spiznarkwizzent down mah long sleeved shirt n i screamedas it bizzurnt a hole through mah flesh . Aint nokillin' everybodys chillin'. now i have a funkyass battle wound ..........but i stizzay lightmatches. if i hizzle a scar i will be proud tashare this story wit mah grandchildren.

Funniest thing eva...There was this doggy stylin'space that was OBVIOUSLY too small fo` any rideta fit into, but this one chic was convinced thather ride was special. So, she backs up (likeshe´s gett'n ready fo` a fight) n then she pumpstha gas n rams her ride into this space. All thawhile steppin' tha two ridez T-H-to-tha-izzatwizzle on drug deala side of this space . Yippieyo, you can't see my flow. Are you rhymin' me?Did T-H-to-tha-izzat JUST happen? Idiot alertkeep'n it real yo! Side note:there was anothapark'n spizzay not two feet away.

Whiznat is thugz think'n??

Today I W-to-tha-izzent ta tha gym alone coz Awas runn'n errands. I did those twomachines...one where you basically spread yo legsreally wide, n then tha gangsta where you piznullthem in but real gangstas don't give a fugg. Youkizzy tha ones I´m rapping `bout?W-to-tha-izzell, this homey was totally blingin'at me wizzle I was pulsat'n mah legs out. Talk`bout uncomfizzles but tha hatin' must go on!I saw tha movie CRASH last night, I highlyreccomend it!!Toodlizzle wit fire,SF

HOLY flippin newscasts!

Wow. I usually tune into Cnn.com on a regular basis to check out the news. (Although this has nothing to do with my political status) Anywho, today I read two articles that are so 1. repugnant 2. hilarious that I had to share.


Story one is VERY Disturbing. I almost puked while reading...so of course I thought I´d share.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/01/12/germany.cannibal.reut/index.html
go there for full story. I´m just going to pull out some tidbits.

"I wanted to eat him, but I didn't want to kill him," Armin Meiwes, 44, told judges in three hours of testimony at his retrial.

He had admitted killing Berlin-based computer specialist Bernd-Juergen Brandes, 43, but was spared a murder conviction and a possible life sentence because the victim had demanded to be eaten.

Meiwes told the court, repeating much of his testimony from his first trial, that he had severed Brandes's penis at his request and that both had tried to eat it, without success.

Lawyer Harald Ermel acknowledged his client had a "fetish for human flesh", but said he was no longer a threat.
"Under the same circumstances he would never do something like that again," he said.

In a "slaughter room" fitted out with butcher's bench, meat hook and cage, Meiwes severed Brandt's penis and they both tried to eat it.
"Due to the consistency of the penis, this did not succeed, either raw or fried," Koehler said.
When Brandt fell unconscious, Meiwes slit his throat, pulled out his organs and chopped off his head. The next day, he froze portions of his flesh, eating some 20 kg (44 lb) of it over following months.

Psychiatrists found Meiwes deeply disturbed but sane.¨ (end quote)

Speechless. Are you KIDDING ME? Obviously I find several things very disturbing about this article. 1. I wanted to eat him but not kill him. Hmm? Is this possible? Can you really EAT something WITHOUT killing it? Last time I checked, um, NO! 2. The victim WANTED to be eaten. And there was someone who WANTED to eat him. What the heck? Who wakes up in the morning and says to themselves, ¨Man, I really hope someone eats me today.¨ 3. This guy only got EIGHT years in jail. Also, he served ¨human meatballs¨ to co workers. Yum...NOT! Can you imagine how you would have felt if you were one of those co workers? 4. Two men tried to EAT a penis. Nothing more needs to be said about that. 5. According to his lawyer he has a ¨fetish¨for human flesh, but he´s not a threat to society. Oh great, that´s comforting. I´m not sitting next to him on the bus. 6. This man had a SLAUGHTER room in his home. Giving the tour: ¨This here is the bathroom, bedroom, oh, and over here we have the SLAUGHTER room!!!¨ 7. And last but not least, a man who has a slaughter room, a fetish for human flesh, a man that severed off a penis and tried to eat it, followed by cutting off a head, ripping out organs, and eating almost 44 lbs of human flesh is considered...sane. God Bless America...(or Germany in this case) Said with 100 percent sarcasm of course.

Now, onto a lighter note

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/01/17/uk.parrot/index.html

The African grey parrot kept squawking "I love you, Gary" as his owner, Chris Taylor, sat with girlfriend Suzy Collins on the sofa of their shared flat in Leeds, northern England.
But when Taylor saw Collins's embarrassed reaction, he realized she had been having an affair -- meeting her lover in the flat whilst Ziggy looked on, the UK's Press Association reported.
Ziggy even mimicked Collins's voice each time she answered her telephone, calling out "Hiya Gary," according to newspaper reports.

HILARIOUS! Careful all you parrot owners out there...they´re apparently listening!

Trying not to crave human flesh, or get caught having an affair by a parrot.
SF

It´s hotter than a match head.

Light a match. That´s what I do anyways. Ya know, when you go number 2, take the kids to the pool, let the turtle swim..ya get my drift. Ya, so if you don´t want the bathroom smelling like a sewage plant ....just light a match. It takes the sulfur out of the air and it doesn´t smell like what just happened in the bathroom actually happened. So, I did that yesterday...I lit a match, only the spark went down my long sleeved shirt and I screamed as it burnt a hole through my flesh. Now I have a nice battle wound ..........but I still light matches. If I have a scar I will be proud to share this story with my grandchildren.

Funniest thing ever...There was this parking space that was OBVIOUSLY too small for any car to fit into, but this one chic was convinced that her car was special. So, she backs up (like she´s getting ready for a fight) and then she pumps the gas and rams her car into this space. All the while hitting the two cars that were on either side of this space. Are you kidding me? Did that JUST happen? Idiot alert! Side note:there was another parking spot not two feet away.

What are people thinking??

Today I went to the gym alone because A was running errands. I did those two machines...one where you basically spread your legs really wide, and then the other where you pull them in. You know the ones I´m talking about? Well, this guy was totally staring at me when I was pulsating my legs out. Talk about uncomfortable, but the pulsating must go on!

I saw the movie CRASH last night, I highly reccomend it!!

Toodles.
Careful with fire,
SF

Did you say THONG?

After four consecutive days at the gym (cardio and weights) and four days of my new Pilates video, I feel like my body is an overly cooked package of Ramen noodles that was left out for the birds to peck at with their sharp, curved beaks. I can´t move. Hmm. Today at the gym was interesting. The gym monitors are hysterical. They are all these huge bulky muscles with legs walking around like they are King Kong. (King Kong is smarter) So, here in Spain there are some phrases that I absolutely cannot STAND hearing and one is ¨me cago en tus muertos¨ and ¨me cago en Dios¨ Basically, the first one means I poop on your dead kin and the second one is I poop on God. Hmm. Hearing these phrases is like Freddy´s nails against a chalkboard, not so pleasant. I´m sure the dead wouldn´t mind..their dead. And God...He´s smart enough to move out of the way. Don´t you think? So anyways, basically when people talk like this I know their idiots. There´s no questions, so I treat them like idiots. I basically gave the guy the death look..I mean, what an idiot. I hope he dies...and then I´ll poop on him.

Antonio and I went to this thrift shop today because he had to have a new sweatshirt, zipper hoody thing to work out in. Here´s a fact..Did you know that zippers are on opposite sides..U.S. and Spain?! Betcha didn´t! Why? If you know I will pay you 1 Billion dollars.

So, we´re walking down this aisle and it just happened to be the aisle for little boys and girls underwear. I looked at him and said ¨you realize we look like total pervs looking at childrens underwear¨ And then I saw it. Unmistakably the most amazing, horrifying, and saddest thing my two lovely eyes have ever laid their pupils on. .........................................................

A BABY THONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I´m not even joking folks...this is too serious to joke about. There were thongs for babies and little girls. Ok, the line has just been crossed folks. I mean, are you serious? Can you imagine a little girl of four years old saying, ¨Mommy, can I please wear my thong today?¨ Wow, is all I´m left with. That´s it, just a wow. I walked away never wanting to have children. I mean, when I have children what if a thong is their only option? I don´t want to bring a child into that kind of world.

Went to Starbucks tonight. It was cool until I looked over and saw the woman sitting at the table next to mine wiping the poop from her babies butt hole right in front of me. Now it´s ok to change babies poopie diapers in public places. Amazing. She probably was wearing a thong diaper.

Also, what´s up with parents covering their babies strollers in plastic covering? If it´s rainy, or just cold, parents COVER their babies strollers with plastic. Ok, suffocation anyone? I always want to run over there and rip it off and scream, ¨LET YOUR CHILD BREATHE¨ But, I just walk by and suffer for that particular child in silence. Hope they don´t die. Save the child!

Banning children thongs for life,
SF

Beat with an ugly stick

First things first I would like to thank my friend Chris for having such a keen eye and telling me to rapidly change my previous entry where I had written feliz ano and prospero ano. ANO=butthole. So I basically said ¨Happy butthole and prosperous butthole.¨ ANO instead of AÑO. YES!

A few weeks ago I had a dream about a girl in my highschool that I hadn´t thought of or talked to SINCE highschool. I had a dream she was pregnant. Yesterday I was talking online with a friend of mine who is friends with this girl. And she goes, ¨Do you remember so and so?¨ And I was like, ¨Ya, I just had a dream last week that she was prego.¨ And my friend goes, ¨SHE IS!!!¨ ooooeeeeeooooeoeee twilight zone. I should set up a little glass ball and buy a weird headress and set up shop!

I started the gym today...YES! It was awesome. The guy that works there is muscles with legs. He basically told us what to do, but that´s OK because he´s obviously in better shape than I am. It´s awesome working out and seeing huge posters of chics with thongs and manly muscles. There is actually this one poster where this huge manly lady is gripping a rose and there is blood running down her arm. Now THAT is hot. I hope that´s me someday.

Today A´s friends came over for lunch. One of them is just out of control. He comes over, A´s mom cuts his hair, he gets a shower, and then he complains that lunch is not salty enough.

We were walking down the street tonight and were stopped for a minute and A turned to me and said to me in English, ¨Why are you so ugly?¨ Let that sink in for a minute.

hmm...what, excuse me???????? After he saw the horrid shocked look on my face he realized he´d made a boo boo. Supposedly he meant to say... Why are you so BORED? hmmm...........bored and ugly don´t sound even remotely similar. He´s still in the doghouse for that one.

Then, as we were walking along and I was still pouting he stepped on a BRA in the middle of the street. I started laughing hysterically because there was a BRA in the middle of the crowded city street and he was totally oblivious to that fact that there was a BRA AND that he had stepped on it. Life just keeps getting better.

So, as we were walking A tore this piece of paper off of the wall...some sort of advertisement or something, and had rolled it up into a little ball to play with it. As we were crossing the st. to our apt. he throws it at me, thinking it´s just going to bounce of. Not me folks. That would make life too easy. Instead it gets jammed into the corner of my mouth and I´m like spitting and waving my tongue around and it´s just not coming out. By this time I feel like we had drawn a crowd or something. How embarrassing! All of these things happened in less than an hour. I told you, life is too funny not to write about. I probably have AIDS now or something.

And on that note folks, I´m off to do my first ever Pilates DVD right here on the comfort of my own cold, freezing, hard, tile floor.

The Ugly Duckling,
Sara

María María

So, there is this really funny song and I just know the refrain it goes something like this ¨María de la O¨ But the O is more like this OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and it´s super loud and you vibrate the doingy thingy in the back of your throat when you sing it. So, anyways, I woke up this morning and I was in the kitchen just singing my little heart out...loudly. Little did I know that Antonio´s dad was on the phone!!!!!!!! It was just hilarious because I bet Antonio´s dad uses the phone like once every decade and here I am screaming like a chicken with its head cut off. I didn´t realize he was on the phone until he hung up and then I just started laughing like I hadn´t laughed before...ever. Then Antonio´s dad started to cough and Antonio goes ¨just like Juan Manzano¨ who is the guy outside our window that is always hacking up a lung and saying ¨Buenos Dias¨like a broken record. So, I started laughing all over again. What a good morning.

Then his mom told me that his uncle got in an accident because he ran into a cow. Luckily no one was hurt. Ya that´s right, a cow!

I got a lot accomplished today. I signed up for a gym which is right across the street. This is very exciting news. I plan to go on a daily basis.

Going to the bank is also always an adventure. It was 11 and there was no line, so I went in. There was also no lady. Apparently she was ¨Out to breakfast¨ so I just stood there for like 20 minutes. YES!

I then went to the supermarket where I paid with Credit Card. I always give them my Indiana drivers license when I pay with CC because last time I checked that was my identification card. So the lady in a mean tone goes ¨What´s this? I have to have your identification card.¨ I was like, ¨This IS my ID card....B¨ OK, I left the B part out, but that´s what I was thinking.

So, I groped my first boob today. That´s right folks, full cuppage. Here´s how: A and I were walking down the street and there were these two girls in front of me so I went to the right to walk around them because they were just kind of standing there, while facing the same direction that I was going. Suddenly the girl just turns to go the other way, and so I kind of put my arms out like in the ¨stop¨ position, which is totally normal because I was running into her and I said ¨perdon.¨ Well, unfortunately the hands out position caused me to fully grope this girls boob. Oh my. So, we both just walked away traumatized but both laughing hysterically. Good thing it wasn´t Antonio that did that. I hope I never cup another boob as long as I live.

Boobie cupper,
SF

doodles

Don´t you just love it when:

You randomly find fifty euros in an old notebook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES

and when you hang clean clothes out to dry, bring them back inside only to find old, crusty, dried bird poop dabbled on the sleeve. Nice.

TTFN ta ta for now


SLF

Rainbows galore

The three kings were good to me. I got some good stuff. Plus, two huge boxes of chocolates! Oh great, just what I needed. Pretty soon my butt is going to start looking like the ladies that pushed me through the crowd.

I got eight more birds and they are awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I scraped poop off of the floor of the pigeons and birds, it was pretty awesome. In the meantime, my two bunnies (who are both males, or both females we´re not sure yet) were humping in the corner. I officially have gay bunnies. COOL! What a diverse little animal kingdom we have.

Hats off to you gay bunnies. Or should I say tails?
SF

Another Christmas Eve

Tonight is like Christmas Eve here in Spain. But, they aren´t waiting for Santa...they are waiting for the three kings with their magical camels that enter through the windows and leave presents and balloons all around the house. Today from five to eleven pm there are parades all day long with the kings and other assortments...like disney, Robots, etc. So, it´s actually a combo of X mas and Halloween because they throw candy. Excellent idea. So, I was standing there with A and my 2 friends that are visiting. There is a man holding his three year old daughter in front of me. So, the float comes by and all of the sudden I feel this push from behind and all I see is this HUGE butt bend over and pick up the candy in front of me. I mean, it was like slow motion and I still can see this gigantuous butt in my mind. It was the wife of the man holding the daughter. So, my friends and I just started busting out laughing because we were so shocked by this huge butt that came through the crowd. So, the lady looked at us as we were laughing...busted. There was really no way to get around it, she obviously knew we were laughing at her huge bootang. No Candy For You!

So, as I said before, they threw candy and I saw this old gramps next to me with a little girl about two years old. I saw a piece of candy right by my foot so I was going to pick it up and give it to this little girl. Well, turns out gramps was already claiming it and stepped on it with his foot so his granddaughter could pick it up. I reach down to pick it up and he´s like, ¨NO!!!!!! It´s for my granddaughter.¨ Jeez people, I know...I´m not THAT heartless.

I had better head to bed so the kings can sneak through my window. And the magical camels.
Peace to you
SF

MCDONALDS ROCKS

I´m officially a hostess. I have missionary friends visiting me from a far off land and first things first on their list of to do´s: McDonalds and Starbucks.

This far away land where they work has neither of these royalties.

What kind of life quality is that? I´m not even sure how people are still breathing in that so called ¨country.¨


Clogged arteries for life,
SF

2006

I didn´t choke..on the grapes that is, but I did eat octopus and I almost choked on its awfulness. -horrible-

My new years eve was pretty good, it´s usually a fun night for me sitting at home, but then I´m forced to go out to some lame party and wanting to go home by 12:30. We went out with two of A´s friends to the city. Right off the bat I saw an extremely drunk girl that was doing the drunk walk and then just plopped down in the middle of the sidewalk not wanting to move....ever. Then, I saw these two men swaying to and fro like they´d just gotten off of a ship at sea. This man was in VERY bad shape. They were walking along and then he just plopped down in this chair that just happened to be there burying his head in his hands, and not ever wanting to see light, again, in this lifetime. He sat there for about ten minutes and of course I just stared at him. No shame. Then, his drunk friend tried to get him up. I thought he was going to puke, or at least have a big pee stain, but he didn´t. (pretty disappointed really) So, they turned around and continued to sway down the street. Where they were going...no one knows, probably not even them. I am so glad I saw these two cases at the beginning of the night because it reminded me not to drink. I kept thinking, ¨That could be me.¨ So, I just had one drink and ..that´s it!

Today I woke up at 2pm. because we didn´t get home until 6am. This is what kills me about Spain is that it´s NORMAL to stay out until 6, 7, 8 or even 9 in the morning!!!!!!!! My body was not meant for this, I´m too old. I´m probably already going through menopause.

Enjoy 2006. Peace, love, and octopus all around.

SF