No, I´m not but thanks for asking.

Well, I have already had two people ask me if I am pregnant today so you can imagine what kind of mood I am in.

Seriously? I have already stepped in a pile of dog shit and now this?

I have lived here for nearly TEN years and this is something that I will never get used to. People constantly reminding me of how I have belly fat. Okay I get it, my belly is fat. Understood. I know. Thanks for constantly just kicking the crap out of me when I´m down. Why don´t you just go ahead and stab my eye with that fork, rip all of my nails out and eyebrows off while you are at it?

Sometimes it´s like complete strangers that ask me that. STAY OUT OF MY DAMN BUSINESS! Why would you even CARE anyways!? I have no idea who you even are and you are asking me if I am pregnant? Does this make sense to anyone out there because it sure as hell does NOT to me.

And the thing that makes it worse than ever it that I desperately wish that it were true. I wish that I could say YES. But I can´t. Because I´m not. And who knows if I ever will be.

So no, lady and man that asked me if I was pregnant. No, I´m not.

It´s all the extra donuts, ice cream, pizza and alcohol that I consumed during my time in the USA.

They are called love handles.

And I am wearing them with pride.