I got nothin´

I wish I had something amazingly awesome to write. But, at the moment, it seems like life is sort of just rollin on. I eat, sleep, and poop. Just like a baby (minus the breast milk).

I´m actually uncomfortably hot already and it´s only March. You can imagine what the coming months are like. Sticky sticky sticky- oh sorry my OCD just took over there.

Will write when more eventful things happen.

Word to yo mama.

80 and counting

I got a massage yesterday. My back is that of an 80 yr old woman with osteoporosis. It´s always a bit odd entering a room and having a stranger tell you straight away to take off your shirt. And then squirt oils on your back and start rubbing you down. But hey, it´s all good. The girl jipped me out of 10 minutes and had no hand strength what so ever but I suppose it was better than nothing.

Did I tell you about the balloon man? He was in the center and he was making animals for kids. Well, I was with my friend walking by and with the elephants tusk he goes ¨boop boop¨ and touched my boob and then he goes ¨beep beep¨ and touched my but (with the elephants tusk) umm. Ok pervo! I felt totally violated, and then I laughed. Only me.

Where are your comments? Are you out there?
Oh, and don´t send me comments and tell me I complain. Duh, tell me something I don´t already know.
Avoiding pervs,
SF

puddle town

We went to the campo this morning to check on our crew. I couldn´t find our other bird that doesn´t fly. There are two. I only saw one. So, I moved the bunny house and there it was, smashed like an unwanted creature. There was blood on the wall. I think the poor little guy got trapped behind the bunny house and couldn´t get out! He´s dead, gone, toast.

Went to the center today. I saw a homeless women pee. Squat, push, and pee. I never thought I would live to see this day. I mean, they are homeless so I suppose I KNEW that they went on the street I just didn´t ever think I´d see it.

Now carefully avoiding ¨puddles¨ when I walk,
SF

raindrops keep fallin´on my head

My umbrella turned inside out today.

There we were in the middle of the busy street, everyone walking normally with normal umbrellas and just mine happened to turn inside out. Instead of calmly trying to pop it back out I started laughing, hysterically. Hyeena like. I couldn´t stop. It was one of those laughs that starts at the tips of your toes and works it´s way out like a high opera note. Blood sweat and tears baby. Antonio was just looking at me like ¨ok, who IS this crazy lady?¨ So, he took over because I obviously wasn´t in the right state of mind to fix it. I think it´s broken.

It´s been raining like a monkeys uncle here, but the orange trees are in bloom and the flowers smell FABULOUS!


Obvioulsy NOT related to Mary Poppins,
SF

slim shady

A bug flew up my nose today while I was in mid sneeze.

I´m still downloading Greys Anatomy and have had yet another marathon. If you do not watch this show please don´t read my blog again, we could never be friends.

Our birds have babies!! I peeked into a bird house today and the lil fella was looking up at me. It was SOO cute. It´s eyes are the size of a pinhole. How anyone sees out of those things is beyond me.

I was reading this article where two parents who both had black fathers and white mothers were going to have twins. They had one black twin and one white twin. True story. The chances of this happening are ...very slim. Cool!!

SF

Tv Toast

I bought a pair of Nike Airs yesterday for TWENTY euros. That is approx 25 bucks. This has never happened in the history of my lifetime. 25 bucks. I looked at the tag at least 100 times. Can it be? Are you sure? Is this tag right? Of course I wanted to buy a pair for everyone I know, which would have been about two pairs. I just bought one.

I was happily watching an old movie this morning on TV when Mr. Thunderstorm decided to roll into town. All of the sudden the Tv popped and I screamed a cheesy scream like I was in an old ¨Jason¨ movie or something. That´s it. It´s fried, zapped, toast, done. No more TV!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember how I told you we have ¨Gas tank¨trunks here? This is how we heat our water, we all have tanks under the cabinet, and when the gas runs out FREEZING water follows. At any rate, yesterday I saw another one and the driver had stopped to get out. He got out with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Considering he had at least 115 tanks on his truck and each tank is pretty much a bomb waiting to explode if close to fire, I had to laugh.

And, I secretly flicked him off in my mind.

HMM?

These are the questions I ponder on a daily basis.

How can some girls say they don´t wear ¨regular¨ underwear because it´s constantly giving them wedgies so they choose to wear thongs instead.

I was watching TV last night and Beavis and Butthead came on. I know you´re jealous.

just a touch

We went to Córdoba today. It´s another beautiful city nearby. We went to the old Mosque. It was so cold in there I could have cut glass on the preserved statue of ivory built in 1535. ¨Sara was here March 14, 2006.¨ That would have added a new touch. A hint of modernism.

BFF

My best friend has arrived! 9 hrs later than she was supposed to, but she´s here.
Rule number one...NEVER fly DELTA. She did and my parents did and they got here almost a day later! DELTA (doesn´t ever leave the airport) are sticking to their name.

Her flt schedule was supposed to be Indy, NYC, Barcelona, Sevilla
it ended up being, Indy, NYC, BELGIUM, Madrid, Sevilla. YIKES! We´re still waiting on the suitcase.

Her favorite part of the journey was in Belgium. There was a long line and there were drug sniffing dogs. A dog sniffed a guy and he was ¨caught¨ with drugs. The dog was sniffing the guy in front of Lynda and it started acting weird and squatting, all of the sudden it had a diarrhea attack all over the floor. The policeman was so mad he just let everyone else go. I´m sure the drug dealers were very happy about this poop attack.

Genesis Reading

I listened to Christmas music all day today. Why, because I can, and I love it, and I did.

I have a bi-lingual bible. I usually read the Spanish and then A reads the English.

We are reading Genesis. It went something like this:

Genesis 23

A:Then Abraham rose from beside his dead wife and spoke to the HI TITTIES! Aka Hittites.
S: rolling on the ground peeing my pants
A:What´s so funny?
S: You said ¨titties¨
A:?
S:Do you know what titties are?
A:NO
S:Rolling on the floor and having laughter convulsions
A:WHAT?
S:They are BOOBS. You just said boobs while reading Gods holy word.
A:Oh. Sorry.

toot toot honk honk

Plop. That´s a funny word. I was sitting at Starbucks and there was an American family there. A woman was talking & she said plop. Coffee almost squirted out my nose. When I go back to the States I get so distracted because I can actually UNDERSTAND all convos around me whereas here, I just don´t really pay attention. So, when she said plop it brought back some good memories.

I gave a Doberman a bath today. Never thought that day would come. It was my friends doberman. She hopped into the bath and I washed her from head to toe. I have to admit, I was a bit scared washing her face because I thought she might decide she hated water at that exact moment and bite each one of my fingers off for a snack, but she didn´t. So, that´s good.

I did my friends laundry for her today and the way her apt. works, the clotheslines are on top of the roof. So, I hung out all of the clothes to dry and then ran between each row like a cornfield. It was very liberating. You should try it sometime.

Last week we saw a couple along side of the road. The guy was standing next to the car and the lady was asking for money because they had run out of gas. These are tough situations because you never know if the person is telling the truth or not. So, instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt we said no. ha. Good thing. We saw them YESTERDAY and they had ¨run out of gas¨ again?!! How do you run out of gas twice in two weeks? And they had the same clothes on. What cracks me up about this is that they tell you this is not a joke and they are NOT lying. He goes, ¨Can we please have money for gas sir, this is not a joke, we are not going to use this money for drugs or alcohol.¨ Ya, sure! Looks like you´re def. not using it for the gas you claim to need.

I´m off like a prom dress.
SF

ears galore

I have an earache. Why you might ask? Because I went to the hair salon. What does that have to do with ears? Oh, I´ll get to that.

It was time for a trim. I mean, my last haircut from hell was in November, so ya, had to do something about that. Going to the hair salon here is just about as enjoyable as going to the dentist, or the gyno. Ya, it´s that bad.

I opted for a different salon this time, because last time my head almost swiveled off my neck. This one was cheaper and they didn´t use ¨the cap¨ which was a definite bonus. However, they do highlights much different than I´m used to. They get this bowl of goo, a comb, and then start streaking your hair. It looks like a tube of toothpaste vomits all over your head. Then, they put SARAN wrap all over, you sit, and wait. I don´t feel like an idiot or anything! The lady was gesturing and then asked me if I was from England. I told her no and then I clocked her under the chin. Do these pearly whites look like they are from England?????

So, she asked me how long I had lived here and I said 1 yr. Then she said, ¨Oh you´re Spanish must be pretty good then, is that why you laughed at me when I was making gestures?¨ Me: ¨Yup. Pretty much. I´m not deaf.¨ Good times.

All was well and my life was running smoothly until I got a sudden switch of ladies and the wicked witch of the west had to wash my hair, comb it out and then cut it, and dry it. Ok, first of all. HOT WATER. I hate getting my hair washed with cold water at the hair salon. This should be illegal and cause for the death penalty. Horrible. But, even worse was the fact that she was washing my hair like I was a wet dog (including my ears) I´m not kidding folks, gobs of soap and water were gushing INTO my ears and I couldn´t hear a thing. The whole time I was like great..now I am going to be deaf. Then she did it again...Scrubbing my ears like a dirty wet dog.

For the love of all that is holy and pure. WHY? Does she not know how horrible this feels? Not to mention my neck totally cricked back to the farthest position it can go without breaking in half. Ok, the rinse is done, now it was time for conditioner. That was all fine and good until she decided to comb my hair out BEFORE putting the conditioner on. SON OF A GUN that hurt like a mother. Esp. the crick in my neck..I´m pretty sure I have a bald patch there.

The cutting part was fine but the blowdryer burnt a hole through my flesh and my ears are now permantely red.

I´m growing my hair to the ground.
SF

Dirty Dog

Yesterday I watched ten glorious commercial free episodes of ¨Greys Anatomy¨ I had a nice relaxing mini marathon right here in my own room. We don´t actually get Greys Anatomy here, but I got hooked on it while home at X mas so I had A download about 10 episodes. I´m getting caught up now. I´ll probably watch more episodes tonight. Yipee!

Just got back from a pet store. I was watching the dogs in the window (the ones with the waggly tails) Anyways, I felt like I shouldn´t have been watching, like a curtain should have closed or something. There were 2 labs and they were brothers. One brother was def. enjoying his other brothers..you know what. He was licking it, biting it, sucking it, and swatting it. The other one was just laying on his back letting it all happen. I think I just stood there horrified. Like MOVE or something. But, then I think his bro finally bit it too hard so he got up and bit his nose. It´s about time. He let that go on for way too long. These are the kinds of things I witness when I go out in public.

I officially ate the last Cadbury egg today. Sad times. They are heavenly.

xo
SF

ooh lala

Went for a nice leisurely walk tonight.

I really enjoyed the scenery.

Two men in their sixties MAKING OUT...we´re talking the full face suck here...in the park with a dog. How sweet.

I wonder if they told their wives they were gonna go get some air. Obviously that would have been a viscious lie, considering they were drowning in each others saliva.

Mean Gene?

Is it bad that I´ve eaten the entire bag of ¨York peppermint patties¨ that my parents brought me last week? Or, that I´ve eaten at least 10 cadburry eggs inthe past ten minutes. I LOVE THEM!! And they don´t have them here. You can send me some if you want. Wink wink, nudge nudge. I´m pretty sure Easter isn´t really celebrated here either.

So, this is a shout out for all of you who would like to find me a job writing! No, seriously, I´m interested in free lance writing...preferably creative writing. Any ideas?? Please send me comments! I´m DYING here. I need to express more creativity. If you know anyone that´s looking or of any opportunities, please let me know! Thanks!

Remember how I told you I quit my teaching job last week? Well, yesterday I got a call from my boss´ husband! bwah! He just came here and I had to give him a few things and he gave me the money. I felt like a four year old child being reprimanded by the principal and then being sent to the corner. This has always been the reason why I avoid confrontation at all costs. I would have climbed Mt. Everest to avoid him but in the end I couldn´t avoid anymore. Not sure why I´ve always feared\hated confrontation. At any rate, I don´t have to see the demons anymore and my 300 euros are tucked neatly under my pillow for the tooth fairy.

Do you ever feel your mean gene is in overdrive? That´s all I have to say about that!
SF