Capote

I loved this movie.

How Philip could talk like that for the entire movie is beyond me.

Isn´t it funny when you order popcorn at the movies and then finish it before the movie even starts? That happened to me today.

I´m so proud.

I´m out...
SF

tights

¨I love drunk chics because drunk chics love me.¨ This is just hilarious..not only is it hilarious because I heard it in a Spanish department store and I´ve never heard a country song here in a year and a half...it´s hilarious because the guy was actually singing, ¨I love drunk chics because drunk chics love me.¨

If you´re proud to be an American please stand up and wave an American flag.

I saw several women tonight wearing those half shorts, half pants with tights underneath and high heels. This makes me laugh..because I know if I wore something like that in the States I would be laughed right out of the country.

Did I tell you about the time at X mas how I wore a jean skirt with tights to the mall in Indiana. I walked in a Yankee Candle store and the guy screams from across the room, ¨GIRL, you are ROCKING out those tights!!¨

Why don´t women wash their hands here after they go to the bathroom? I´ve been conducting a study and pretty much 1 out of every 10 women actually washes their hands. Wow. Good thing the greeting here is two kisses on the cheeks...(cheeks of the face that is) otherwise I wouldn´t be shaking anyones hands!

Peace in the middle East,
SF

everybody was kung fu fighting

I forgot to write about my driving lesson last week. I have my license in the states, but I have no clue how to drive stick..and that´s all cars are here. So, if I decide to drive here someday I´m prob gonna need to figure that out. Antonio decided to help me out on that one so we drove into the middle of nowhere at the campo. I am always procrastinating saying¨oh, maybe next time.¨ But, when he got out and forced me to sit in the drivers seat I knew that lesson 1 was udnerway. I only stalled once!! yee ha. Hey driving with an extra pedal after 9 yrs of driving is a bit confusing. In my head it´s like wait..where did that come from? Which pedal do I push? I was doing fine until the dog ran around the corner and I almost.....hit it! Can u imagine how devastated I would have been..hitting a dog during my first lesson? Ouch. And that my friends is when I stalled. I panicked and I forgot to push down the clutch, good thing actually, because if I wouldn´t have stalled the dog would have been chop suey in the local Chinese restaurant.

There was a marathon in Seville today. Prob not a good idea. Every street was closed and traffic was a bear. I love it when everyone starts honking, like that´s going to solve anything. So, we were sitting in traffic for 30 minutes while everyone honked their little ears off. We were on our way to church and never made it. So, we went to Starbucks and had our own little bible study there. We got a few weird stares so I pushed on A´s forehead really hard and said, ¨You´re healed.¨ ...haha, not really.

Our birds are laying eggs at the campo. This is very exciting news. I feel like I´m going to be a grandparent and I don´t even have children yet.

We went on a walk day and it was so gorgeous out. It was the sky just like ¨the Simpsons¨ cartoon and we saw two sheep, a deer and some other funny things. It´s hilarious how dogs act so mean..and they aren´t at all. There were these two German shepards barking their tonsils out and we were all nice to them and soon they were fighting for our affection through the fence.

Have you ever gotten something caught somewhere and instead of being patient all of the rage in the world enters you at that second and u just WRIP it out from wherever it´s caught? Ya, I thought so.

The olympics are over. boo hoo. My mom and dad head back to the States tomorrow. I saw my dad on TV at the Hockey game the other night. Too funny. He´s now a celebrity.

peace,
SF

Watch out Torino

Holy Monkey´s it´s been forever since I´ve written. I´ve had blog withdrawl but my folks were here. My bad.

They were supposed to get here on Sunday, but arrived on Monday afternoon instead.......and just left for Italy today for the Olympics. Apparently they had the worst possible experience you could have while flying and everything that could have possibly gone wrong, did indeed go horribly wrong. At one point they even had their tickets cancelled and the lady told them they had to pay 1600 each if they wanted to re issue them. At this point my father grabbed her hand and ripped out each fingernail that she had. Or..at least that´s what he wanted to do. (They didn´t pay by the way)

They got here on Monday and their luggage arrived on Wed. night. So, they weren´t the happiest of campers. My mom wore my clothes and my dad wore Antonios. A even let him wear his underwear. Now that´s simply amazing. I washed my dads underwear by hand, my moms bra, and one night there was no water pressure so I had to hold the little knob that you raise so the water comes out of the shower head, the whole entire time my mom showered. I felt like a mother because I tucked my folks in at night, got their clothes out for them, got their water started. Well, they will be turning 60 in a few years so I´m getting a jump start on care taking! :O)

It was pretty much the quickest visit ever but they enjoyed the food, shopping, etc. Languages are hilarious and so I was exhausted..translating for the whole world. His folks don´t know english and mine dont know spanish and I think they thought it would just come to them. They would start talking to each other for about five mintutes and then realize oh..I have no clue what you´re saying. But, I think they got along fine. We saw as many sights as we could and we laughed when we saw a purse for 800 euros.

On a side note I quit my job on Tues. I pretty much remind myself of that part in Office Space where they don´t fire Milton (because they avoid confrontation at all costs) and just send him to the basement. Ya, that´s me. I dont even have the balls to talk to her, (well, i suppose that´s a good thing) so I text messaged her!! haha. I know, I´m def going to hell in a handbasket. But, when I had a puzzle and a kid came over and knocked it right out of my hand and a piece almost flew in my eye (and when I had to hold back the urge not to pick him up and slam him against the wall head first) I decided it was time to go.

The next job I have will be teaching ADULT english lessons.

Look for my parents on TV. They are the ones with the black and red olympic jackets holding a sign that says, ¨We love Sara¨

Unemployed for life,
SF

Delt...what?

Yesterday a homeless man was walking aimlessly through the streets in a ripped up old flannel yelling to the world that we were all going to die because it´s so cold out. It´s 65 degrees.

My parents were supposed to be here today at 1:30. Turns out they are still in ATLANTA! Apparently a door wouldn´t close on the airplane. Figures. They flew DELTA (Doesn´t ever leave the airport)

Way to live up to your name DELTA. I hate you.

Oh, Sat. I got a HUGE boquet of guilt flowers from Antonio. I LOVE em´

I´m out, (Like your mom on a Sat. night)
sf

oh to be four again.

T-3 days until my parents arrive in Spain. Yee ha! Quote from my dad, ¨Maybe we can eat at Denny´s for breakfast one day. ¨ I love you dad...no Denny´s here, sorry!!
Although we do have HOOTERS..go figure.

Pretty uneventful day today. At school the janitor was late, so the door was locked and I was standing outside with 24 four year olds wondering why we couldn´t get in the building. One of the moms had a three yr. old son with her and he was so clingy, she basically screamed, ¨GET THE HELL OFF OF ME.¨ (In Spanish of course). It was a definite spaz attack and everyone was kind of just like, ¨Whoa, chill mama¨ I felt bad for her son! I can totally see myself having one of those at some point in time in my life. If my child crawls on my like a monkey 24-7 I can see how that would be a bit wearing.

We painted their faces today and my older kids made masks and cut them out. One of the boys started RUNNING around with scissors. Isn´t that the first thing you learn while coming out of the womb? Don´t run with scissors!! I thought that was something everyone knew!

A 4 yr. old raised my shirt and said, ¨TATTOO::our teacher has one!¨ She would not let go of my shirt and I def felt violated! I have 2 tattoos...one on my hip of an icthus and another on my lower back of stars and a moon ( I was 18 and thought I was cool) So, anyways, total violation!

Today a girl lost her earring and her world was officially over. She was crying so hard I thought an internal organ was going to fly out of her mouth! Another girls bracelet fell off and she would not stop crying. Oh to be four again.

Peace out,
SF

Oh, was that today?

Happy Valentines Day to all of you love birds out there.

It´s been a romantic one for me, let me tell you. I decided to wax my stach this morning and Antonio ripped off the wax. Isn´t that just so sweet?

I had to teach today and one girl started bawling her eyes out at the end of class because she hadn´t finished coloring Marta the angry goat, and her mom was going to be ..not happy. So, her mom walked in to get her as she was crying and she said in English, ¨What´s happened with my daughter?¨ So, I told her in Spanish that her daughter thought she might be mad since she didn´t finish coloring. Then, the mother repeated, ¨What´s happened to my daughter?¨ Um..what the heck? Didn´t I JUST tell you what happened with your daughter? Am I speaking in Chinese here, or what the heck is going on? I abs. HATE when people do that...it´s like they don´t listen because I don´t speak with a perfect accent. I should have just rattled something off in Enlgish as fast as I could and then said, ¨U got that sweetie?¨ Parents are so annoying..haha.

I didn´t get anything for V tines day. Disappointing. Antonio thought it would be a good idea to buy me flowers or something ¨another day¨ so it would be more special. Ya, I hate that idea. He´s currently in the dog house cuddled up next to the dog.

Let down on V tines,
SF

?

What´s the deal? Do Americans ONLY wear North Face apparell and flip flops?
Was there a big convention that I was unaware of that said all Americans traveling to Europe can only take North Face fleeces and backpacks and Flip flops with them..or bust?

I missed that memo!

I got scolded at the gym today. Maybe he´s just flirting with me?
Jealousy and girls=funny. There is a girl that says ¨hi¨ to Antonio every single day. And not just a normal ¨hi¨ but she tilts her head, bats her eyelashes etc. I want to smash her face in with a baseball bat. I just might have to if she keeps it up! Bwah!

Go Olympics! 4 minutes of shame or glory that you´ve practiced for four years. Way to waste your time. Actually, I was watching the ¨girls half pipe¨ competition and it was quite impressive. That´s gotta hurt falling on your face after touching the moon. Have you seen some of these sports that they are showing? Today I was cracking up because it was like shuffleboard on ice with HUGE pucks. WHAT sport is this and how do people get involved in it? I always wonder that when I see a super random sport. Like soccer and basketball..ok, I can understand how you get started doing that but THIS..I can´t even remember what it was called! They´re like ¨Ya, I´m going to the olympics for shuffleboard on ice!¨ Although, it´s more than I can say I suppose. I cannot even ski down the bunny hill without falling on my face and then ripping my gloves to shreds trying to get back to the top of the hill. I used to be pretty good at skiing and then I went to visit my friend in Alaska and he took me to the black diamond hill. All I could think about was running into a tree and dying so I didn´t even go down.

I waited in line at the bank today for 40 minutes to put 12 dollars in someone elses account. A chinese man took out 5,000 euros. I´ll have what he´s having please.

Olympic lover,
SF

Oh Pigeon where art thou?

Happy Birthday Dad! (And president Lincoln. R.I.P.)

So, as I was going to the bathroom this morning I heard ¨Ca caw Ca Caw¨ and as I looked over I saw that a pigeon had flown through the window and was pretty much in the bathtub. So, I started screaming, ¨Pigeon in the bathroom, Pigeon in the bathroom.¨ (Of course this has never ever happened and of course it happened when I was on the toilet and when I was in the bathroom).

Antonio was like ¨What?¨ So, I finished up my business opened the door and screamed PIGEON!! He was like ¨cool¨ So, I was thinking he was just going to shoo it out the window, but what does he do? He calls it over and catches it!! And he shouted in english, ¨It´s MINE!¨

So, we took it to the campo and now we have an extra pigeon. I named him Clifford. He´s actually a very nice pigeon and he´s sprinkled with pink paint, and he has pink feet. He seems very tamed and educated..if you call he comes over and lands on your shoulder. Real nice guy. So, that´s my pigeon story and I´m sticking to it.

Pigeon lover for life,
SF
PS our other pigeons had babies and they are the ugliest things you´ve ever seen.

paintball?

I feel like a big big piece of crap.
I feel like someone held me down and cut little slits in my throat with a seashell and then made me swallow a zillion times. You know, you never realize how much you swallow until you have a sore throat..and it´s way too many times. It´s like I try to hold all of the saliva in my mouth just so I don´t have to bear the pain.
I feel like I swallowed all of the ice in the world and it´s inside my body, and I can´t warm myself up from the outside, it´s an inside chill that just won´t go away. Yesterday I pretty much slept 22 hours.
I just blew my nose and it looked like a green paint ball exploded in the kleenex. Awesome!

On a side note: A and I are now obsessed with Johnny Cash after seeing ¨Walk the Line.¨ We have a few cd´s dvds and small doll like replicas. Ok, not the dolls but I´m pretty sure Walk the Line is our favorite song now. It´s funny to hear Antonio sing ¨I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.¨ He thinks it´s the greatest, and with his Spanish accent I have to laugh.

Ok, back to bed.
Good bye America
SF

demons

Hairy ears are gross.

Yesterday on the bus a BIG man tried to get by me to sit next to me and he pretty much fell on top of my lap. That was awkward.

I´ve kind of felt like a small child all week. Antonio picked me up one day at school and he had juice boxes and donettes. I was so excited you would have thought we won the lottery. I became an adult in second grade when my parents bought me an alarm clock and I had to start making my own lunch. I mean, I was only what..six? Most parents woke their kids up, made their lunch, and had a snack waiting for them when I got home. My .......nobody was waiting for me when I got home because my parents worked. Oh well, I ate ten ding dongs or ho hos (What kinds of names are these? I should have a talk with Nabisco) and was on my way. But, when A brought me the juice boxes I was like, ¨wow, so this is what it would have been like if my mom and dad didn´t work. ¨ boo hoo. Oh GET OVER IT! Ok, I´m better now.

Also, I got reprimanded by the cleaning lady because the kids colored on the floor. I mean, how dare her? ha. That was before I knew that devil was loaning me his demons.

I´m working on taming the demons. Although yesterday I looked away for a second and 3 yr. old pedro BIT OFF the top of the flashcard he was holding, like a little rat. Oops.

AND today at the gym I was in the weight lifting part with all men, and the trainer calls out in front of everyone HEY YOU ..you´re doing that wrong. That´s just great.

Until next time America,
SF

This just in..

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

I´m sitting here at the computer in my room with the door open and I heard that noise coming from the kitchen. Antonio´s mom officially ripped one. She thought she was alone. So I screamed EWWWWWWWWWWWWW Did u just fart? (In spanish of course) So, she walks into my room and goes, ¨No.¨ And then we both just started cracking up because there was no lying about that one.

And she thought I had bad hearing.

Bwah!

The wheels on the bus

I hate riding the bus. It´s too small of a space for the amount of people that are inside of it. I feel like the air is going to run out and we´re all going to die, because it can´t be recycled THAT many times. I was sitting down and a man was standing next to me. I happened to look over when he decided to adjust himself for like five minutes. Ok. ..GROSS! His ......... was in my FACE!Stop touching IT in public!! I mean, girls don´t go around scratching their parts......and if they did that would be ...hilarious. Why is it accepted for men though? Eww. Is he proud of himself ?Does he realize he´s doing it? Does it itch? Did it move? These are the things I´m thinking.

There were tons of Americans on the bus and I felt like I wanted to kick them off. I was thinking, NO MORE Americans! Invasion! And then I thought to myself, ¨Oh, YOU are an American¨ so I just had to let it go.

Today I taught again and it was MUCH better. I was able to change rooms so they couldn´t run around and scream because the room was pretty much the size of a small closet. PERFECT! I did punch a kid right in the face though. No, not really, but I wanted to. Does this make me a horrible teacher ? ya, it probably does.

Avoiding the bus,
SF

Friend patrol

While observing a class last week I met a teacher that worked at the school. We decided to go out for coffee today. Let me just reiterate that I have NO friends here. So, as I was walking to meet her today I kind of felt like I was pep talking myself to fire up for a date. I caught myself saying, just be yourself, don´t bombard her with your intensive energy..haha. I mean, I want friends so bad..this was like an interview...the test! I think I passed though!

Tonight my boss called me and instead of teaching five hours a week I will be teaching eight. I hung up the phone and CRIED! I´ve been looking for a job for so long, but you don´t understand how bad these kids are. Besides the plastic zebra and scissors incident I had another little boy crying because another kid jabbed him in the neck with a pen. I tried to clean off the pen marks with my spit, didn´t want any trouble with the parents. I´m sure a little saliva didn´t hurt him. UGH. Wish me luck tomorrow.

Battling the children,
SF

TOOT TOOT

Today the dog ate a hot coal. She licked it off of the ground like it was a warm piece of apple pie that had been left behind, only it was a hot, burning coal that had jumped out of the fireplace. Her tongue could be burnt into a million little pieces for all I know, like a jumbo puzzle....but afterwards she just looked at me and laid down to go to sleep. So, I think she´ll be alright. I didn´t know I had to take precautions with hot coals around her...now I know.

Last night we saw ¨Walk the Line¨ with Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Phoenix. At first I was a little scared because I thought that during the singing parts there was going to be some random Spanish dubbing going on, but luckily it was Reese and Joaquin. I thought they did a really good job. I know they were both nervous about singing but I LOVED this movie. I am def. going to buy it when it comes out. Yes!

Have you ever sat next to someone in the movies who breathed like they had a whistle jammed up their nostril? It´s like a train is coming into town or something and I just want to turn to them and say BLOW YOUR DANG NOSE! It makes me so nervous and on edge because the only thing I hear during the whole movie is my whistle town neighbor next door! UGH.

Offering Kleenex for free at the movies,
SF

teacher teacher

My life has been a complete whirlwind this entire week. As you know, I´ve been looking for a little joby joby teaching Engl and someone was brave enough to actually hire me...five hours a week. Yipee! So, I didn´t think I had to start teaching until next week and good thing..because I have never taught kids english in my lifetime. My classes are three to five year olds, four year olds, six year olds, then twelve year olds. I was able to observe at a friend of mines school on Monday (again, thinking I had plenty of time to figure out what I was doing) Oh, contrare..she calls me up on Mon night and was like¨you start tomorrow¨ Crap!!!

So, yesterday I saw the school for about five minutes and still had no clue what I would be doing that evening while I went to my boss´ house to eat lunch. We ate shrimp. Do you know how much I hate shrimp? Have you ever eaten over at someones house and had to FORCE something down your throat? They passed the bowl over and I ¨happily¨put a whole two on my plate. He was like, ¨Don´t u like shrimp¨ SURE I DO! was my reply...lie!

Then at five thirty I went to school and I had the three to five year olds. I had a lesson plan..we were going to do colors with balloons and they were going to draw faces on them.....that is not what happened. I had this idea of what the class was going to be like, and then I handed out the balloons.......so the kids were like BALLOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! They all started screaming as loud as they could and running around like they were on speed. Can I just remind you that I don´t even like kids. I´m just doing this to try to get experience...after two days..I´ve had enough! ha ha. So, kids are screaming, running around, then this kid is crying because another kid jabbed a pen in his neck, then this three year old threw SCISSORS across the room. It all went down hill from there............

Today I had four year olds and I accidentally dropped a plastic Zebra on this girls face and she started crying. Oops. So, I said sorry and this other student kissed me and called me pretty. Today was a better day...but still a lot to be desired. Have you ever tried teaching a child to say ¨pick up your rubber (eraser) ¨ with a straight face? I didn´t think so.

Worst teacher in the history of mankind,
SF