Thursday, March 31, 2011

What a night

I was feeding N at the park and a bird totally pooped on my arm. I felt like it was acid and all of my skin might have washed away w the wet wipe..but it didn´t..thank goodness. I have no idea how the poop didn´t fall directly into her food that was sitting there..miracle. Just now I opened the window and a cockroach flew into my hair. Knowing what you know about how much I despise cockroaches imagine my reaction. I´m going to have nightmares for weeks. I can still feel it crawling on me.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Park

I don´t know if I can go to the park anymore. It´s just freaking me out too much. Let´s start with the moms. I know I´ve talked about this before..and I need to take pictures, but they are just to skinny. This one ladies stomach was concave this morning..seriously. Concave. Not to mention the way they dress..heels, tights, skirts, blouses. We´re at the park..not church.

On to the babies..again, we´re at the park, not church. Bonnets, tights, dresses, the boys have overalls on...it´s ridiculous!!!!!!!!!!!!

They even put towels or blankets down on the pebbles so the kids don´t get dirty. Plop. Let´s sit on this blanket..that´s a lot of fun.

Meanwhile Nora is running around w her sweatsuit on throwing rocks, trying to climb up the slide, banging her head against things..you know, the usual.

Oh America, I miss you!

Monday, March 28, 2011

World´s youngest mother




A 5-year-old peruvian: world's youngest mother
Published on 10/24/2007 under Bizarre Medical Stories - 840,707 views
TAGS: 5-year-old mother, Youngest Mother Record


Into the hospital at Pisco (Peru) came a tired, ragged Indian woman from the foothills of the Andes. She led by the hand a shy little girl, scarcely three feet tall, with chestnut braids and an enormously bulging abdomen. Pointing to the frightened child, the Indian woman begged Surgeon Geraldo Lozada to exorcise the evil spirits which had taken possession of her. Certain that little Lina Medina had an abdominal tumor, Dr. Lozada examined her, and received the surprise of his life when he discovered she was eight months pregnant, making her the world's youngest mother ever.

Dr. Lozada took her to Lima, the capital of Peru, prior to the surgery to have other specialists confirm that Lina was in fact pregnant. A month and a half later, on May 14, 1939, she gave birth to a boy by a caesarean section necessitated by her small pelvis. The surgery was performed by Dr. Lozada and Dr. Busalleu, with Dr. Colretta providing anaesthesia. Her case was reported in detail by Dr. Edmundo Escomel to La Presse Medicale, along with the additional details that her menarche had occurred at 8 months of age, and that she had had prominent breast development by the age of 4. By age 5 her figure displayed pelvic widening and advanced bone maturation.



Her son weighed 2.7 kg (6 lb) at birth and was named Gerardo after her doctor. Gerardo was raised believing that Lina was his sister, but found out at the age of ten that she was his mother. He grew up healthy but died in 1979 at the age of 40 of a disease of the bone marrow.

There was never evidence that Lina Medina's pregnancy occurred in any but the usual way, but she never revealed the father of the child, nor the circumstances of her impregnation. Dr. Escomel suggested she might not actually know herself by writing that Lina "couldn't give precise responses." Lina's father was arrested on suspicion of rape and incest, but was later released due to lack of evidence. Medina later married Raúl Jurado, who fathered her second son in 1972. They live in a poor district of Lima known as Chicago Chico ("Little Chicago"). She refused an interview with Reuters in 2002.


There are two published photographs documenting the case. The first one was taken around the beginning of April, 1939, when Medina was seven and a half months into pregnancy. Taken from Medina's left side, it shows her standing naked in front of an inconclusive backdrop (either the side wall of a house with the sun shining on her, or a light-diffusing blanket in a room with an overhead light pointed toward the front of her body). This is the only published photograph of Lina taken during her pregnancy. This photograph is of significant value because it proves Medina's pregnancy as well as the extent of her physiological development. However, this photograph is not widely known outside medical circles. The other photograph is of far greater clarity and was taken a year later in Lima when Gerardo was eleven months old.



Although the case was called a hoax by some, a number of doctors over the years have verified it based on biopsies, X rays of the fetal skeleton in utero, and photographs taken by the doctors caring for her. Extreme degrees of precocious puberty in children under 5 are very uncommon but not unheard of. Pregnancy and delivery by a child this young remains extremely rare because extremely precocious puberty is treated to suppress fertility, preserve growth potential, and reduce the social consequences of full sexual development in childhood, and because termination of such pregnancy is more widely available now than in the early 20th century.



Motherhood: Other amazing cases
Bobbie McCaughey is the mother who holds the record for the most surviving children from a single birth. She gave birth to the first set of surviving septuplets - 4 boys and 3 girls on November 19, 1997, at the University Hospital, Iowa, US. Conceived by in vitro fertilization, the babies were delivered after 31 weeks by caesarean in the space of 16 minutes. The babies are named Kenneth, Nathaniel, Brandon, Joel, Kelsey, Natalie and Alexis.

Jayne Bleackley is the mother who holds the record for the shortest interval between two children born in separate pregnancies. She gave birth to Joseph Robert on September 3, 1999, and Annie Jessica Joyce on March 30, 2000. The babies were born 208 days apart.

Elizabeth Ann Buttle is the mother who holds the record for the longest interval between the birth of two children. She gave birth to Belinda on May 19,1956 and Joseph on November 20, 1997. The babies were born 41 years 185 days apart. The mother was 60 years old when her son Joseph was born.

The highest officially recorded number of children born to one Russian mother is 69. Between 1725 and 1765, in a total of 27 pregnancies, she gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets, and 4 sets of quadruplets. 67 of them survived infancy.

The modern world record for giving birth is held by Leontina Albina from San Antonio, Chile. Leontina claims to be the mother of 64 children, of which only 55 of them are documented. She is listed in the 1999 Guinness World Records but dropped from later editions.

Thumb Sucking

Ah, the magical thumb. It´s so soothing, so delicious, so slippery when wet. I sucked mine until I was five or six and even then my parents had to put socks on my hands at night because most of the time I started sucking it w out even realizing.

Nora´s just like her mommy. Well, almost. She never wanted a paci...which is funny since I have a box of about fifteen of them...unused. She could never quite figure out how to keep it in her mouth..which is fine by me and then when she figured out the hand coordination she started to suck her thumb. I thought it was cute. She mainly just did it when she was tired and she would stroke her hair so I knew it was either naptime or bedtime. Whenever I caught her doing it at other times I would pull it out and say, ¨not now¨ and she didn´t seem to mind.

About two weeks ago I realized that she STOPPED sucking her thumb. OMG I haven´t seen it in her mouth..that´s so weird! She was doing it yeterday why isn´t she doing it now? She just stopped. Over night. Cold turkey. This kid is amazing.

I hate to disappoint you Nora but NO SOCKS on your hands for you! (Unless you want to?)

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Tigers and Bears, oh my

What if we just cut Lions out of that saying forever? I was watching a documentary today about Lions and I´ve decided that they are all just a bunch of A$$holes. All they do is eat other animals babies.

Seriously? They need to pick on someone their own size. I hope they become extinct..like, tomorrow.

Friday, March 25, 2011

:(

My heart is really hurting for a dear friend who lost her baby at eighteen weeks. Please keep her in your prayers so that her heart can heal.

weather!



holy cow it has been a gorgeous week! it's that temp that's not too hot and not too cold. perfect! i wish it was like this all year round!!!!!!!!!!!! we honestly spend more time outside than inside and i know we're so lucky to be able to do that.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

beyond annoying

I kinda want to throw up in my mouth a little bit each time I hear of a newborn being named Nora. Seriously? If her name becomes super popular I´m going to bitch slap every mom in America personally.

A few things

about Spain that drive me crazy.

Cleaning......I HATE when I'm in the middle of a store and some lady is MOPPING the floor. Really? Like right now you are mopping and get mad at me when I try to walk around? Here's an idea....mop AFTER hours. Ever thought of that one before? Try it! Witch.

I don't understand how this culture is so "clean" ie. every housewife is cleaning non stop..yet women don't wash their hands after the bathroom, there is never any toilet paper or soap in bathrooms and people throw their trash on the ground like it's their job. Gross. Make the world a better place. Idiots.

Also, what is UP with kids PEEING all over the place? I'm seriously taking N to the bathroom when she gets older. For little girls they literally hold them up spread eagle over a tree and they piss all over. It's so freaking nasty. GO TO THE BATHROOM FOR GOD'S SAKE! I don't want to see that. At all. Ever again. So stop.

Too touchy. I don't know you so stop touching my daughter please. No wonder she has a cold right now from all those nasty hands touching her hands that she constantly has in her mouth. No touchy!

Women that are sixty look like they are eighty. Life doesn't stop after fifty..take care of yourself! Dye your hair! Go to the gym! Get botox! Do something!

Completely clueless about other races. Get a clue! Read a book!

Ok, that completes my rant for now:)

My silly bean


Monday, March 21, 2011

Peggy Sue´s

I had a lot of fun this weekend. Friday night with the magician and Saturday was Father´s day here in Spain. Hard to believe it´s his second one. Are we old enough to be parents?! We also decided no gifts...there comes a point when a couple has to decide when to buy gifts..between anniversaries, birthdays and holidays we´d go broke. I think we kinda decided on Birthday´s and Christmas.

Then on our morning walk on Sunday we walked past this really cute American Diner called Peggy Sue´s. I had never seen it before..probably because it´s only a week old! So, A and I decided to go for lunch. It was so cute!!!!! I felt like I stepped right into the 50´s. They had a cute menu and things were called Frank Sinatra´s and Aretha Franklin´s. ha! Also, there was an old TV with old commercials, juke boxes and they even gave us a giant gumball on the way out. I personally liked the BIG coke bottles. I don´t know what it is about Europe, are people less thirsty or something? Coke bottles are like 1 4th the size and I really want to ask for three. Who drinks like a shot glass of liquids? It´s just strange. SO I was elated when I filled my glass and had a half of bottle of coke left. Isn´t it sad that I get so excited about these things???!!!!!!!!! And the dessert......holy crap it was amazing. Brownies, Carrot Cake, Cheese Cake, Apple Crumble (these are NOT available in Spain) so I really wanted to order one of each! We settled on the carrot and cheese cake. Heavenly!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anywho, again, I get excited about very small things.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Magic!

Last night we had so much fun! Every Friday is our date night, but we´re usually in by ten..ha! Not last night. I think we rolled in around 2am. We went with two other couples to a different town to a fabulous little restaurant and we ate some amazing food and drank some delicious wine! It´s so fun to just hang out with other couples w out worrying about what Nora is up to and constantly trying to keep track of her. To top of the fun there was a magician that came to our table and he was AMAZING! (Pictures to follow)

What a magical night! ;O)

Friday, March 18, 2011

13 months

Hi Nora! I thought I´d finished my newsletters to you at 12 months, but I kinda like having your life on record so we can read it when we´re sixty and ninety! :O)

It´s been a rough month for you! After your first birthday you had diarrhea for about a week and it reminded me of your newborn blowout days. Good thing you have a lot of clothes because you dirtied about half of your closet! I´m glad that´s over!

After you got over that you got a fever, cough, and boogs! You are still kinda getting over that. It´s not fun when you´re sick because you sleep terribly and your naptimes are a joke. You aren´t even a cuddler...although you can be. It really depends on your mood.

You also cut your finger recently and fell on your nose and have a scab. Now the fun begins since you are super mobile. You´re walking great and fall much less than when you first started. You´re an old pro now. I swear you ¨run¨ most of the time.

We had your one year appointment and you are in the 95th percentile for height and weight. You are a big girl and in 18 month clothes. You are perfect and precious.

You still love music and animals and you don´t dislike any food at the moment. You are quite the eater!!

Love you monkey!
mama

Thursday, March 17, 2011

how cute is this website??

http://olliegraphic.com/

THE IRISH PROSTITUTE

THE IRISH PROSTITUTE

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return,
her father cursed her heavily. 'Where have ye been all this time,
child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can
ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?'

The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff...Dad....I became a
prostitute.'

'Ye what!!? Get outta here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a
disgrace to this Catholic family.'

'OK, Dad...As ye wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious fur
coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings
certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye,
Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes Limited Edition convertible that's
parked outside, plus a membership to the country club...(takes a breath)...And
an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht
in the Riviera.'

'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.

Girl, crying again, 'Sniff, sniff...a prostitute, Daddy!' Sniff,
sniff.

'Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a
Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!!!'

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

sicky

Nora woke up hotter than a firecracker this morning. Off to the doctor we went. She just has a standard cold really...coughing, runny nose and fever. I honestly don´t know how parents deal with sick children. I mean, really sick children (i.e. cancer). Our daughter gets her first fever and shi$ hits the fan. It´s intense having a sick little one. Praising God for a healthy (generally!) baby that has no life threatening problems (minus her mother who chases after her with coca cola cans). (See yesterdays blog) Here´s to hoping she gets better soon!

On a random note...How about the most recent episode of Glee? I loved the original songs. Hell to the No was my favorite. Also, isn´t it funny when you hear a song (or smell a smell) it can instantly take you back to an exact moment of your past. I heard ¨Black Bird¨ on Glee and I was instantly taken back to my bedroom cerca 1996 when Ted Fetters just broke up w me and I bought the Beatles WHITE album and I was laying on my bed..for like weeks...listening to that CD and I memorized all the songs..Black Bird being one of them. AH, to be young again. Ted Fetters..if you are reading this you ripped my heart out and stomped on it until it was almost lifeless.

I hope you got an STD in college. Better yet, I hope you got an STD in grad school...so there!

Moving on......

I would also like to mention that when Antonio and I lived in different countries and were dating we could talk on the phone for two hours straight no problem. Now that he´s out of town and calls every night our maximum convo is like five minutes and that´s pushing it. hmmm. Isn´t that hilarious..or just sad?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Great mom Award

Today was one of those days when I think I shouldn´t be allowed to have a child. Am I the only one who has these days??

First: Nora sliced her finger on a Coca Cola can and it bled like a stuck pig. It was awful. And the most awful part about it was..it was my fault. Here´s where you give me the great mom award. The can was half full on the table and she grabbed it...and I didn´t want it to spill so I said ¨Nora let go¨ and I was pulling on it. Ya, I didn´t realize her freaking finger was stuck on it, I thought she was just being difficult and then I got into my kitchen and saw blood on my slippers.

Awesome. (Yes she was crying but she always cries like a Hollywood actress so I didn´t know the difference) It looked like someone got murdered in my family room...Blood on the walls, floors, her clothes were soaked...it was insane and I almost fainted. Of course Antonio was not home at this point. So I called my mother in law and told her to RUN over. (She lives down the Street) It was crazy talk. I didn´t even know what the wound looked like because there was so much blood and she wouldn´t let me see it. At this point I was looking aroudn for a severed finger because I seriously thought she lost one. In the end Nora has a small cut on her middle finger. I have no idea where all of that bright red blood came from. I hope that never happens again.

But, the fun was not over. When it rains it pours. Later in the evening she fell on her face and got a bloody nose. I wanted to shoot myself at this point. During our walk in the evening somehow she got a massive scratch on her face. Good Gosh. By her bathtime she looked like she´d gotten in a fight at the playground or something. Poor lil lamb.

Cheers to the great mom award!

Monday, March 14, 2011

stress

So, Nora has been balls out..crazy alligator tear crying for the past two hours and I have no idea why. She started crying when Antonio left to play soccer and it´s been a real joy ever since. I love when she does this when I´m alone. It´s always like that!! I can´t stand when she cries and I don´t know why she´s crying. I always blame it on teething because really, what else could it be?? You´re 12 months old for Gosh sakes, life can´t be that bad, can it?

I did what any other mother would do and stuck her in the bathtub. Relaxing right? It actually worked! She was happy, played, splashed around and I even got her out and into her pj´s with no tears. And then they started again..........and again.........and again............

Wait, what did you say? I can´t hear you since my eardrums just exploded. This might be a very long evening.

Friday, March 11, 2011

12 mth pix.


droopy drops

It´s been rainy all week and I am so over it! I ride my bike to work so this week has been a really special treat. I now have a scratchy, itchy throat and my nose is running like a faucet. Blek.

Sometimes(like this morning) I´m in denial that it´s raining and I put the plastic over Nora´s stroller, slide on my raincoat and off we go! I found a really cute shirt for 3.99 at the shopping center today so that made me feel better for a hot second. I had to go and check out where my beloved Starbucks was and if it´s true that they really did close it. They did. A holes. Saddest. Day. Ever.

So, all these rainy days has given me time to catch up on all my amazing TV series. Should I be cleaning the house or doing something productive? Absolutely. Do I do that? Negative ghost rider.

I am WAY too into chocolate lately and I eat it like it´s my job. Woudln´t that be amazing if chocolate was like spinach or kale? I can dream.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

I G I

Internet, glorious internet!!! I´ve missed you terribly. When we got back from Indiana in AUGUST there was a random mix up with our phone line and internet so we have not had a house phone since August...and for some reason we had internet (for free!) Until last week when I tried to connect and ;( no luck! They must have figured it out and cut my heart right out.

It´s pretty sad how dependent I am on internet...I think I might die w out internet..and chocolate. Thank goodness I had just gotten my new blackberry which has internet to get me through the week last week! So, the guy came this morning and we are BACK and READY TO ATTACK in full force!

Oh internet, I love you! Will you marry me??

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Last night I saw my first cockroach of the season in the kitchen. I cried. Seriously. I did. I hate them that much. And to make it worse I saw it before bed. That is never good. Anywho, that's part of life around here. This morning we had to go to get x rays for Nora's hips. They are better but not quite there yet. Another appointment in two months. When Nora was getting the x ray the technician asked me if I was preggers! Extra sit ups for me today!!!

Monday, March 07, 2011

moves

How do people not have rhythm? Today at the gym we were all doing squats and there were two girls in the front that were doing it WAY OFF ...not w the music at all. What are they hearing in their heads?? I´ve always been fascinated by that for sure!

Sunday, March 06, 2011

D-Day

Today´s the day. I´ve been dreading it for weeks now. Starbuck´s is closing. I´m in denial. How can this be!?!?!?!?!?!


Also, Congrats to my friend Catie! She had her precious son Bobby last night and we went to see him. Can´t believe how tiny newborns are:) Nora has lots of new boyfriends to choose from.

Even though Starbucks is closing I still have my Foster´s Hollywood. Best. Restaurant. Ever. I love you bacon cheese fries. You make my life in Spain a little easier.

Saturday, March 05, 2011

Hilarity


I´m so glad Nora is able to spend so much time w her abuelos Julia and Antonio. She learns so much from them too and of course they love her more than life itself. They have a dog (boxer) and at lunch we give Nora a piece of food and say, ¨give it to the Chiqui¨ and she does! She also gets a washcloth from Julia and ¨cleans the windows¨ This kid is hilarious!!!!!!

I´ve also taught her the signs for ¨more¨ and ¨finished¨ which she´s got down. I´m going to teach her some more. She says, ¨wow wow¨ when she sees a dog (that´s what they say here) she kisses, waves bye bye, and ¨sings¨ when she´s happy. What a joy she is to our life!

She´s in 18 mth clothes now. BIG GIRL!

Friday, March 04, 2011

I kind of want to marry my new blackberry. So at some point do all parents think their kid is a genius or is that just me? At this point she copies everything we do. Kiss,bye bye, and she even dances. They change too fast...

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

bwah

We don´t have internet at home so that´s why I´ve been MIA. We should be getting it this week sometime. Life w out internet is like...death. Sad how I need it so badly. It´s like a drug!

Also, A has been out of town working so I am a single mama...AKA exhausted!

Nothing too huge has been going on around here. I almost got hit on my bike today and died which was cool. I can´t even believe drivers here. Remember that question on our drivers test that was like, ¨What do you do when a Pedestrian is crossing the street?¨ And one of the answers was ¨Honk and hopefully they´ll get out of the way.¨ Ya, I think that was the correct answer here. The light was green for me to cross..granted it was JUST turning red as I was in the MIDDLE of the intersection so technically when I started to cross it was green and this guy was like coming right at me. Then he had the never to yell at me ¨ITS RED¨ WTF? EVEN IF IT IS RED ARE YOU JUST GOING TO KILL ME?????? I don´t get it. And then when something like that happens you´re just in a bad mood all day. But not me! HA. I just yelled stuff at him and then I felt better.

My friend had a taco party over the wknd. which was great fun. I suggest everyone has taco parties. Of course Nora threw up in the car on the way there. WTF? She´s never thrown up in the car before? So ya, all over her clothes and I of course had nothing to change her into. SOOOOOOOOO I used wipes and she basically smelled like puke the whole party. Sweet mom!!!!!!!

Gotta go.........she´s probably running around the house w scissors or something.