Proud to be an American ...where at least I know I'm fat

HEY HEY HEY! I'm back in the USA!

It takes 24 hours to get back no matter how you slice and dice it. These are the hard cold facts. Sure you aren' t actually on a plane for that long...but all the crap in between makes it all add up.

I left Seville on Monday morning on a 730am flight which means I had to be at the airport at 530am which means I slept...pretty much 0 hours the night before. All in all I flew 3 airlines to get to the US and on 2 of them the weight limit for the suitcase was 70lbs and on one 50lbs. 20 lbs is a BIG honkin difference! Pretty uneventful flight and then I got to Madrid. I had about 1.5 hour layovers in each place so that was nice and perfect. The lady I sat next to on the plane from Madrid to London immediately put on her headphones and sunglasses...I took that as a hint to talk to her as much as possible..haha

Once in London I had to go pick up my suitcase and re check in. I've never understood this concept nor will I ever. Do you realize how much I was sweating carrying a back pack, a rolly carry on then a gigantuos suitcase to the ends of the earth and back! And why do I have to go through security AGAIN if I already went through it in the first two airports? Where am I going to pick up a bomb in the meantime?

Man, Londoners are not the friendliest people on the planet. I stopped and asked two people for directions and this is what they said to me in their British accents...

"Just tell me WHAT YOU NEED"
As I'm walking away... " Next time you should really follow the signs."

Ok, JERKO!! I never say anything in these moments and then as soon as I walk away I think of the awesomest comeback to say in the world!!

Like...What I need is a bottle of whiskey and a bed...or maybe you should follow the signs and not drive on the WRONG side of the road...but instead I just smile and walk away.

On the long flight from London to Chicago I sat...in the MIDDLE. This is quite possibly the worst feeling in the world as you are entering a plane and find out your seat is ...in the MIDDLE. I always request a window or aisle seat and this time I plumb forgot. However, everything worked out quite nicely as I sat next to a girl my age and a mother who hated her children. I watched four movies, at some food and the next thing I knew we were in Chi town. Oh, and I had a Spain jersey on so the flight attendant guy kept refering to me as "Miss Spain"

I refused to get on the bus so I took the shouth shore. I even had my suitcase. This is a miracle.

It's always weird coming back and culture shock hits immediately with seeing obese people, ipods, lots of water in toilets, big bananas, and US dollars. There are new ten dollar bills. There has been new money made since I've been home last. Insane.

I haven't been able to stop a moment since I've been home with the rigorous social schedule of my parents. They are the most popular 54 year olds I know!

It's so good to be home and sleep in my own bed....and dream about how Spain should have won the world cup.
SF

death

It´s 11pm and I´m sitting here sweating my balls off. I don´t technically have any balls, but if I did believe you me they would be all sweated off by now.

For the LOVE of all that is holy and pure can someone please turn on the air conditioning? I can´t handle this anymore and I might die soon...very soon.

It´s over 100 degrees so I am sweating morning noon and night. Do you know how disgusting and gross I feel? But this is the thing that cracks me up...we OWN an air conditioning unit and they will not turn it on. Central heating and air is not normal here in Spain BUT AC units ARE. Apparently from what I learned today from Antonio and his mom...and I quote ¨The AC gives you bad skin and a cold.¨

I don´t care if I have the skin of an 87 year old woman and have green phlegm coming out of my lungs from pneumonia...but by golly at least I would be cool.

dirty

I had a dentist apt. at 730pm. 930 pm rolls around and I´m STILL waiting. I know...730 PM...it´s Spain! To make it worse a small boy came in and was acting horrible. I love it when parents tell their kids to do something, and the kid pretends like he just doesn´t even hear the mom. What happened to good old discipline? My mom would beat my butt. Get out the belt, or the wooden spoon and beat my freaking butt!!!!!I must say I´m an advocate of butt beating. Not necessarily in public but in private you bet your sweet bippy. And what´s the deal with waiting for two hours? Finally I just left cuz I¨m starving and want to eat dinner. When did it become normal to wait for two hours?

Did you know that when doves lay eggs they lay 2...and then a male and femal hatch. Betcha didn´t!

Our neighbor recently informed us that it´s the norm to feed your dog once a ...week. And she wonders why all of her dogs are dying and stick thin?!!

There are some big soccer games coming up tonight. I love it when the guy screams GOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL
for like ten minutes. What´s also hilarious is when someone gets hurt and the rest of the team uses it as a ¨water break.¨ They don´t run over to their team mate and see if they are Ok..instead they are like YES water!!!!!

Dirty teeth for life,
SF

Superstar!!!!!!!!!!

Today I had coffee with a Spanish girl. This is quite possibly..a miracle. You see, I´ve been trying to make Spanish friends ever since I´ve lived here. It´s pretty much impossible to meet girls since I have no place of employment nor am I studying. (Man, now I know how you guys feel). At any rate, a few weeks ago Antonio and I went to dinner with another couple, and this couple brought their friends along....and THIS is how I met a new Spanish girl. You got that? It´s all about connections. Otherwise, what am I supposed to do...walk into a store and say ¨Hey girls, be my friend...or die.¨ Ya, that prob wouldn´t work out so well. So, as I was walking to the place I must admit I was a bit nervous. Having coffee with a new friend is somewhat intimidating. It´s like a job interview only this time for friendship. Maybe at some point in time we can buy those special best friends necklaces...the hearts that are cracked down the middle! Remember those?!

Ok back on track..so we talked for 2.5 HOURS! I spoke in spanish for that long...no wonder I´m exhausted. Who knows what she said? haha. Actually, she works for a newspaper and she is doing a story on foreigners that come to Seville and decide to stay. She whipped out her recording device and boom, did the interview. Oh, and she also took my pic. So, I´m going to be in the newspaper! How hilarious is that? What a fabulous day..a new friend AND I´m famous.

I also said goodbye to the man at Starbucks. His name is Ishmael. I told him I´d be gone for the summer. Then I had to wipe the tears away from his sad coffee eyes.

España..España!

All I have to say is Spain is kicking some serious BOOTANG ...................Tonights match 3 to 1....TOMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ronda

Well, today was a holiday so we got the heck out of dodge and visited a BEAUTIFUL city called ronda. It´s my favorite! Too bad we almost died several times while getting there. It all started out in the city and it just must be something with guys but Antonio was like RACING this old grandpa in the middle of the city. I was so embarrassed! We won though! haha

Then, on the way to Ronda there are all of these curves and only 2 lane streets so if there are big trucks or something it causes this huge line because it´s very difficult to pass. One time we passed this truck and I swore we almost got hit by an oncoming car. I was not a happy camper.

Here are some pics of our day and also a random pic of the Chiqui acting like she´s dead.

Toodles
SF

thumbs up

I would like to give a shout out to the fabulous Spaniards for playing an excellent game of fútbol today........4 to o! Way to go guys!!! As far as the U.S. ...we should just stick to football and call it a day.

All of this soccer playing is reminding me of my glory days as a kid when I played. I started in second grade and played until 8th. I was a right forward and I was dang good if I may toot my own horn. T.O.O.T. Thanks.

When I was little my nickname was ¨pretzels¨ because I was so skinny. I know, way to scare them right out of their kleats eh? I ran my head off and then at half time sucked all of the juice out of a zillion orange slices cuz it made me queezy to actually EAT the oranges. (Maybe that´s why I was so skinny).

My soccer days ended when I started middle school ...and I´m not really sure why. Maybe it´s because I just couldn´t bear the thought of actually having to eat an orange.

happy anniv

Well, it´s official after 8 kids, 4 zillion grandkids and 3 zillion great grand kids my grandparents have surived sixty years of marriage. They are STILL together and even talk once and while. haha. If this isn´t a reason for a celebration I don´t know what is. My grandma was 16 and my grandpa was 22 when they were married. Recently my entire family (minus me) got togehther for memorial day and my cousin overheard my grandpa say ¨Wilma you and I made all of this.¨ Isn´t that sweet? So, happy Anniv Wilma and Charles Smith. What an excellent example you´ve made for the rest of us.

My other set of g parents made it to fifty years too...this is a good sign folks..


On another note. USA is playing today................go usa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lately i´ve been in another far away place..it´s known is migraine land. Man is it good to be back in the real world.

stinky pants

So, one of my friends recently visited Paris and I was speaking to him about his experience online yesterday. And I quote, ¨Europe just smells bad. I don´t know how you deal with it. Ordinary people like you and me even end up smelling hideous.¨

Let me just let that sink in for a minute...

Ok WHAT? That´s the most random thing I´ve ever heard. ¨Europe smells bad.¨ That´s hilarious. We take showers on a daily basis AND we even wash our clothes. Is that just another stupid american comment? Wisen up people. Europe doesn´t smell bad...unless a dog takes a big dump in front of you in the street..that has happened on several occassions, and in that case just walk faster.

Ugh. I have to go. I woke up this morning with a migraine. I felt like someone hit me with a hammer a few times and then opened up my skull only to remove my brain and squeeze it like a wet towel and then put it back in. Then I threw up because it hurt so bad and now I´m sweating and dizzy. If you´ve never had a migraine..u have no idea what pain is.

No pain no gain,
SF

interesante

Could the Dr. P be making me get zits? I didn´t have any and then after my fabulous find BAM four on the chin. Dr. this is no good! I need you. We´ll have to work something out...and soon!

I recently decided to help volunteer at a nursing home. More to come...

You know the approximate age for Americans to get married and have kids...ya bump that back ten years here. Usually, an American woman starts to freak out if she´s not married by 30 kids by 32 ish...here it´s like 45-49 women get married and have children. Here is my question...WHY? What 55 year old wants a six year old child? My parents are living it up, traveling the world, and enjoying NOT having any children at home. I´m like a baby guppy still swimming with my floaty wings on. I have at least 25 years until my first child!

I´ve been getting introduced a lot lately by Antonio´s parents or his friends and this seems to be the popular saying, ¨This is Sara.....she´s American.¨ Is the ¨She´s American ¨ part really necessary? Although, I suppose I like it because then they don´t talk to me..haha.

No, but seriously, if I have an Asian or Indian friend do I say ¨This is X and she´s Asian¨ Isn´t that considered kind of rude? I think I´m going to start carrying around an American flag, so that way they can be sure and it will save them the ¨She´s american ¨ bit.

Peace out from the American!
sf

Is there a Doctor in the house?

Yup. Here´s one. My favorite one of all time. It had been too long, nearly six months since I had tasted this glorious gift from above. But yesterday, I found a store that had it. I had been searching for over a year and yesterday I found the Doc.

¨Dr Pepper Company is the oldest major manufacturer of soft drink concentrates and syrups in the United States. It is America's unique flavor and was created, manufactured and sold beginning in 1885 in the Central Texas town of Waco.

Dr Pepper is a “native Texan,” originating at Morrison's Old Corner Drug Store. It is the oldest of the major brand soft drinks in America. Like its flavor, the origin of Dr Pepper is out-of-the-ordinary. Charles Alderton, a young pharmacist working at Morrison's store, is believed to be the inventor of the now famous drink. Alderton spent most of his time mixing up medicine for the people of Waco, but in his spare time he liked to serve carbonated drinks at the soda fountain. He liked the way the drug store smelled, with all of the fruit syrup flavor smells mixing together in the air. He decided to to create a drink that tasted like that smell. He kept a journal, and after numerous experiments he finally hit upon a mixture of fruit syrups that he liked.¨

It´s kind of disappointing to think I´m drinking how a drug store used to smell, but hey, it´s still glorious.

Funny Dr. Pepper slogans..

¨With changing times came changing slogans. To broaden its appeal across the nation, Dr Pepper hailed itself as "the most misunderstood soft drink," and then in the 1970s became "the most original soft drink ever in the whole wide world." In 1977, Dr Pepper advertising was marked by the famous "Be a Pepper" campaign, and today Dr Pepper's slogan is "Be You.¨

Here is one I came up with...

¨Help me doc I´m injured¨ or ¨Is there a doctor in the house?¨

¨Liquid medicine¨

¨Fluid of life¨

I love you Dr. Pepper and I always will.

Madly deeply truly.....................................................................tori oops i mean sara