marriage 1955

if you cut and copy you will see the above article

C:\Documents and Settings\Usuario\Configuración local\Archivos temporales de Internet\Content.IE5\WB5RE2BD\ATT699286[1].jpg

thank God i found this before my wedding. otherwise my marriage would have been a complete bust.

grin and bear it

I sat through four years of college, exams, quizzes, homework, long hours of studying and much unwanted anxiety and stress to sponge other peoples babies buttholes after they poop. YES!

So, day 3 and i want to kill myself....haha At the moment Im pretty much a cleaning lady more than anything. María isn´t going back to work until December so until the I clean the house, do the laundry, iron, and wipe babies butts.

I have to clean each room of the house EVERY day. Ok, I thought I was OCD about cleaning..um, no. I have to dust, sweep and mop EVERY day. How is it possible that every single room of the house needs cleaned that thoroughly on a daily basis? The kids aren´t even walking yet. Also, today I learned that she wants me to iron her sheets as well as the towels. Can I iron your money while I´m at it?

She also explained to me today how to clean a baby after they poop. Always from the front to the back (in case you didn´t already learn that when you were like..FIVE!) AND after the babies poop I have to SPONGE their butt with a sponge and wet water. Whatever happened to good ole´baby wipes? Grin and bear it grin and bear it. My new life motto.

pee pee face

Well, I survived my first day of Super Nanny. Too bad I don´t drive around an awesome mini with a british flag on the side of it. Now THAT would have been WICKED.

At any rate, I´m not alone with the kiddies because the mom is breastfeeding and when she´s not feeding one she´s feeding the other every two seconds. I saw a lot of boob today. Which is just weird...seeing a complete strangers boob.

So, I watched as she was ¨showing me how to change a diaper¨ (like i don´t already know how) and the lil boy just let loose like an abandoned fire house. I mean there was pee ALL OVER the room. I´m pretty sure I got squirted a few times, but I was too busy trying not to throw up on the job to care. Gross.

Also, it´s amazing how two month olds can just rip @ss. If you had your eyes closed you would think a two hundred pound man had just eaten an entire cannister of refried beans for dinner and let loose, but no...this is coming out of a ten pound baby. How is this possible?? Is their hole even that big?

THEN I had my first student tonight. Her name is Ana, she´s cute. She´s 9. All is well in the land of super nanny.

Avoiding being peed on.
sLF

T.W.I.N.S.

So, tomorrow my life is about to drastically change. Crazy thing happened a few days ago..but I need to back track a bit. In our building downstairs we have a lawyers office. Well, a LONG time ago when I was trying to get my papers sorted out I was working with a male lawyer..at any rate a chic named María worked there and apparently she saw me and LOVED me (who wouldn´t!?) and remembered me. So, she calls me up. Now, this is a lady that I don´t even know that well...actually had never carried on a conversation with her in my life and she wants ME..MOI to watch her...drum roll please.............TWO MONTH old twins!!!!!!!!!!!! 33 hours a week. Is she nuts?????? Of course I said YES because I need the cashola and I couldn´t find a job because I don´t have my papers. The fabulous part.........she´s a L.A.W.Y.E.R. and wants to help me get my papers ASAP. THANK YOU GOD. The funny thing is...I´m not to kid proned (as we all know) but God keeps opening these doors so I have to walk through. Maybe He´s trying to prepare me for the quadruplets I´m going to have...bwah! Also, I´ve been placing fiers and I have a 9 year old student tomorrow. Whoa, I don´t even have time to wipe my butt after I poop. But no worries, I´ll make up for it wiping 2 extra butts every day. YES.

Cheers to baby poop. It all starts tomorrow. It only goes downhill from here. CACA!
SLF

Matsa balls

So, the flier quest continues. And it´s hot. Why is it so freaking hot here? Last night there were teenagers screaming in the plaza until 2am and I´m exhausted and cranky. GO HOME stupid kids. Why do people pro create? Ok, just kidding.

So, anyways back to the fliers, as I´m putting them up I walked by this parking lot and I noticed this beautiful black car and I´d never seen one like it. So, out of pure curiousity I walked over to see what it was. You know what it said? Maserati. A freaking MASERATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn´t even know these cars actually existed. Sure I´ve heard of ferraris and lambourginis and maseratis but I´ve never SEEN one right there in the flesh. I just stood there stunned. I grew up in Osceola Indiana. No one had or has a Maserati. My brothers dream car was a Honda CRX and mine was a Dodge Neon a maserati was just this word I´d heard maybe once in my life. So, I´m standing there and I¨m thinking, man that is just a hot car. I´m not gonna lie sports cars and cologne turn me on. (Antonio drives a Renault Clio so it must have been the cologne). At any rate, I just stood there and had a total fantasy about being in that car, driving zillions of miles an hour an then the owner just gives me the keys and says ¨enjoy¨ Ahhh..the life. But then I woke up and felt the fliers in my hand and remembered I make 6 euros an hour. It´s fun to dream though.

Thanks Maserati. You made my day.

roach

When I was growing up and in the third grade, there was a girl that got on the bus a few houses down from me and her friends called her ¨roach.¨ I was terrified of her...she had long black hair and was just...well, BIG. I think I was more terrified of her nickname. Anyone that wanted to be called ¨roach¨ had to be ill. I thought of that story because for the past two weeks I see a cockroach on a daily basis in my house. The past two times it´s been in the kitchen. I turned on the light and it was just standing in the middle of the room ...like ¨hello, i´m here!¨ I just froze like I´d been struck by lightning. They are the most disgusting, huge, gross, nasty, sickening bugs I´ve ever laid eyes on and to think that they are crawling around with their hairy gross little legs all over things makes me want to hurl. So, I called in the Chiqui and she ate it. Shes such a good dog.

I´ve been putting up fliers all day long about teaching English and I actually have a student! She´s 9 and starts on Mon. We´ll see how it goes. We all know my previous experience with children. If I don´t have to smack her around too much we´ll be OK.

Did u know the minimum amount for a wedding gift here is 200 euros. YES!!!!!! cha ching.

I´m out like your mom on a Sat night
SF

This just in..

My future mother in law just touched my private lady parts and said ¨cho cho landia¨

translation:vagina land.

We´ve reached the peak of our relationship. There´s nowhere to go but up from here.

esp

There´s something freakishly weird about my ability to predict pregnancies.

Yesterday I had a dream that I gave birth to a girl and my mother told me she was ugly. Then, my daughter turned into a cat.

At the same time Britney Spears was having her son. Can´t you see it? I´m psychic...or psycho.

more pics from Merida

Merida

Hi friends!

I had a fabulous weekend! I love living in Spain. We hopped in the car and went a way for the weekend. Every city is so different that a two hour car ride is the equivalent of a ¨beam me up scotty¨moment and you´re in a far off new distant land. We visited 3 different cities all in all but my favorite was Merida. It´s like a mini Rome. The Romans=genius. The things that they did and invented are out of control. We saw old homes and artwork, theatres and a colisseum. I esp. loved the toilets. It was a marble slab with six holes right next to each other (I will enclose a picture) Talk about getting friendly with your neighbor!!!!!!!

tid bits of info

sorry you haven´t heard from me. i died of heat exhaustion and was just recently revived.

we bought the AC unit...yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was the happiest day of my entire life. i can sleep now and not be sweaty and sticking to the sheets.

i´m getting back into the groove of things in spain. spanish, the people, food, time change etc. i feel like all we do is sleep. ¨lets take a nap¨ i don´t want to take any more naps gosh dang it. it´s like if you are awake 3 hours it´s a record that needs to be added to that big ole´guiness book because whoa...3 hours with your eyes actually open, that´s outstanding.

also, i´ve been a little overwhelmed by the massive amount of cleavage i see. yesterday at the store i couldn´t help but stare at this lady because i thought they were going to fall right out of her shirt.

no bra. huge boobs. skimpy top. hmmm? you´re carrying those things around all loose and wobbly and you expect me not to stare?

enclosed is a hilarious pic of antonios afro. enjoy!

Ready to attack

Well look who´s here lil miss Sara Fisel has arrived safely to Spain yet again. I can´t get over flying, it´s just so hilarious to me. You think I´d be used to it by now, but it kills me everytime. Chicago, frankfurt germany, barcelona then seville.

Here are some things that crack me up about travel.

1) Why is it that people always have trouble finding their seats on the plane?? Your ticket stub says 1A, so to me it´s pretty self explanatory. Aisle 1 seat A. Why is there always that one couple that´s like ¨honey, I can´t find the seat, where is our seat?¨ The only explanation for not being able to find your seat is that you are illiterate or blind...or a complete moron.
2)Planes stink. I hate when you get on the plane and it´s hotter than hades. So, you sit there for 30 minutes sweating and ¨taxying¨ and then the AC comes on. My personal favorite is when they are going to serve the hot food and the whole plane smells like a sewage tank. By the time they get to me I usually have the barf bag in hand a I wave them on by. Disgusting.
This past flight I was fortunate enough to sit next to a smelly person on each and every flight. Amazing.
3)The plastic toilet seats at airports. When I push that button is new clean plastic coming out, or are they just rotating the old one? How am I to be sure? How can you have that much plastic back behind the toilet? Is there a person behind the toilet changing the plastic every single time I push the button? If so, that´s probably a job I´m going to look into in the future.

After being on a plane the last thing you want to do is have to stand in a gingantic line. In Frankfurt there were TWO passport control people for literally 500 people. We were in this long hallway being herded like cattle. I also loved the old lady telling people what to do and then people going up to her and cussing her out. When you step out of the situation and forget that you are tired, hungry, sweaty and stressed and actually try to be nice, and watch other people being real A holes, I felt embarrassed for them. And they were usually Americans. Go figure.

Although, when we landed in Barcelona and I thought we were all going to die because it was the worst landing in the history of landings I didn´t feel bad when I got off the plane and said ¨nice landing¨ to the pilot. I said it with as much sarcasm as possible and man did it feel good. I actually started cracking up when I walked off the plane cuz I was delirious and also I thought to myself ¨You´re such a bad bad witch sara¨ but hey, it was a HORRIBLE landing someone had to tell him.


You know when you are in a Spanish airport because everyone has their dog with them. I sat next to this lady in the airport and her dog was on her lap. These aren´t lead dogs or anything, just little yappers.

But, I´m back...getting used to the food, language, people, time change, etc. Oh, and it´s ridiculously hot, but thank God we are buying a portable air conditioner tonight! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get ready Spain....she´s back...........