proper shampoo usage;

I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!

I use shampoo in the shower!

When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and
printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,

"FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY."

No wonder I have been gaining weight!

Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and

I am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead.

Its label reads,

"DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."

Problem solved!
If I don't answer the phone I'll be in the shower!

On girls nights.

Necessity. It´s just that simple. I find myself getting even more dolled up (painting of the nails) even more so than my date nights with Antonio. I think this is hilarious. Why is that? I have no idea! It´s just fun.

It´s just fun to talk about GIRL things and be in the company of GIRLS ONLY. And talk about fun stuff like SEX!

Yes, girls night. It´s going to have to happen more often.

We went to a fabulous Tapas place and had great food, great conversation and just an all around good time. I did not wear a skirt this time so it could NOT fall down when I stood up. I wore a dress instead;)

Where did I come from?

http://books.google.es/books?id=2rTvWBlaht4C&hl=es&source=gbs_book_other_versions

Have you ever seen this book? My parents read it to me when I was in second grade and I was horrified. Wait, you did WHAT? WHY? That´s disgusting and wrong. The pictures were hilarious and the way they described having an orgasm will make you LOL. Read it!

I never had time to think if the stork dropped me off at my house or where else I possibly could have come from. I was like 8. At least I got the facts early on, but it was definitely something I did NOT like to think about. I will admit, I did sneak down to the basement and look at the pictures every once in a blue moon. Hey, I was curious!

Boys always freaked me out.

I wasn´t allowed to date until I was 16 (this is when I had my first kiss) and I did not have sex until I got married (applause here). I WAS interested in it probably around 16, but I figured I would probably get pregnant my first time,even if I used a condom and birth control I probably STILL would have gotten prego. (I did get pregnant the first time when we started trying) so HA I was right! Kind of.

It has always been and still is SO mind boggling to me how people just have sex with random people. It´s something I can´t even fathom doing. Ever.

Anyways, I´m getting off track here. So, tonight I was teaching 2 girls who are 11 and they were asking me about sex! Age 11! WTF? I was in like FIFTH grade at this point and playing with Barbies I´m pretty sure. It´s incredibly sad to me how KIDS are just way ahead of themselves in life. They have their blackberries (Who are you calling at age 11?) and talk about boys all the time etc. Ok, maybe fast forward six years and I would be like ¨ok¨ but age ELEVEN?

It terrifies me, being the mother of a daughter. Terrifying. How do you teach your daughter not to be trampy? We as parents can educate her by reading ¨Where did I come from¨ (HA) and talk to her openly about sex etc. but in the end, each person is going to decide what he or she wants to do. Or should I say who.

Here´s to hoping my daughter isn´t a tramp.

Cheers!

techno freak

Hi I'm Sara and I'm addicted to my Blackberry. Its sad really. How did I ever live without it? I was reading this article today about multi-tasking...driving,talking on the phone,applying make-up. Our brains aren't even meant to do that. I get mad at myself for spending too much time on electronic devices and not enough time with my own family. Its time I can't ever get back. It would have been nice to be Laura Ingall's..at least they talked and told stories. I'm going to make a real effort to get help for this crack..err..blackberry addiction. Ok, I gotta get off this thing!!

thief

I stole my daughter's sound machine. She slept in our room until she was 10 months old and I got used to the rain. And I liked it. So I kept it.

C

Contentment is hard for me sometimes. Why do we always want what we can't have? How many times do we say, "I wish I had this or that." I don't think money buys happiness and I need to remember to be content with what I have. Thank you Lord for your goodness and blessings that you shower upon my life!

Shi% girls say...

I just wet my pants watching this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-yLGIH7W9Y

And then I watched it again.

Favorite Quote

from one of my friends blogs...... After showing a picture of her belly 4 mths after giving birth to twins and it looks like she´s still 3 mths prego....

¨LET THIS BE A LESSON TO EVERYONE: DON'T EVER COMMENT ON A WOMAN'S PREGNANT BELLY UNLESS THERE IS A BABY HEAD CROWNING FROM HER VADGE. Because some girls are bigger than others. Some girls are bigger than others. Some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers.¨

and almost 5 years later

we had a run-in. I saw Big Johnson today. Almost 5 years later. He still makes my skin crawl.

He looks the same, but fatter and more white hair. His breath still smells as bas as I remember and he still grabbed the side of my boob while giving me my two ¨Spanish kisses.¨

We chatted for a bit and I was DYING to just run away. (Which would have been awesome)

N was with me so thankfully I could avert those wandering eyes to something else, albeit for a second or two.

He still eye rapes and he told me ¨You are prettier than ever.¨ That would be a compliment if it came out of ANYONE elses mouth but Big Johnson´s. Or should I say tiny Johnson?

I hope I don´t see him for another five years, or ten, or never!

I wrote this march 2007.......recap

Big Johnson

This happened on Friday morning and it´s Sunday night. I´m still not even really sure what to say....so here goes nothin.´


Disclaimer:I know it seems like some of the stuff I write is made up and you´re thinking..ya right, that didn´t happen. Oh no, it did and it does. It´s like nothing out of the ordinary happens to other people and it´s only saved for me. It´s saved and then plopped on my plate like a big pile of mashed potatoes and then someone puts peanut butter on it. Ya, Awkward.


Ok, so Friday morning I went to work. I get there at 9 everyday and usually my boss´husband answers the door. It´s always a big pajama party because all three of us wake up the babies and then feed them breakfast. So, her husband answered the door holding the daughter and wearing a short bathrobe. Short being a few inches above the knee. He then proceeds to sit on the couch spread eagle and ya..I saw his wanker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I mean, it was hanging out, flying in the wind, ok, walking stick anyone? I wasn´t staring at it or anything, (haha) but I saw enough to know that it was out........and that it was way too early in the morning to see a strangers John Thomas.


P to the E to the N to the I to the S.


Are you getting this people?????????? WHY does this stuff happen to me? Honeslty, why?


So, it´s out and at that point I really just did not know what to do. I mean...what do I say, ¨Ya, your snake is out of its cage so if you could just put it away that would be great.¨ But I couldn´t find my tongue at this point so I just nonchalantly left the room. While exiting I was thinking..Ok, I´m going to leave and give him time to realize his ol´one-eye is out and he´ll have time to put it away.


I went into the kitchen and found my boss with her son. She gave him to me and said, ¨Why dont you just head back to the family room while I prepare his bottle?¨ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Please don´t make me go back there (I wanted to scream) but I just took her son and sort of whimpered like a lost dog as I walked out of the room.


I had hope, I really did that it would be put away.......but nope. ..the ole´spunk stick was still as happy as ever to see me. Talk about awkward. I sat on a chair as far away as I could and was staring out the window......he was talking to me and I wanted to scream. ... I CAN SEE YOUR PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, THEN I was thinking, Ok, his wife is going to come out and surely notice and tell him to put it away. Guess again. She comes out and I guess is so used to seeing it that she did NOT notice and we all proceeded to have a conversation while the skin flute was doing it´s thang. All in all, a good ten minutes of full on naked penis. What a fabulous way to start a morning.


And this folks, is the story of my life.


Thoughts how I can go through a week without seeing strangers wangs and weiners? Anything? No, nothing?


Avoiding twigs........and berries.

23 mths!

Dear Nora,
Today you turn 23 months old. I can already smell your birthday cake. How is this possible??

You have been QUITE the handful this month. Keeping us on our toes for sure. The two´s have not hit and the ¨terrible¨ has arrived early!

This past month was your second X mas and your dad and I had one motto ¨start low¨ If we start the expectations high, then you will expect too many presents on X mas day. So, we opted for 2 gifts and you were fine with that. It´s not like you only got 2 in total..what with family and all that. You got PLENTY and of course had no idea what was going on but you liked to rip the paper off and run to throw it into the trash.

Nana and Pa came for a visit from Dec 30 to Jan 10 so that was exciting. It was fun to watch you interact with them again and get to know them a little better. You really enjoyed sticking stickers on Pa´s face:)

Jan 6th the Three Kings arrived..more presents for Nora and a parade!!!!! We really enjoy having you around (OK, I guess we´ll keep you) especially during the Holiday´s!

You weight 15.5 Kilos and eat everything in sight. You sleep from 10 to 930 and have a nap from 4 to 6 every day.

Lately your favorite word is NOOOOOOO and you know what you want, and if you don´t get it you scream, whine, and cry. eek.

You are speaking more Spanish than English at the moment but I´m not too worried. You are OBSESSED with Peppa pig and want to watch it for hours at a time. I swear you wake up saying , ¨Peppa Pig?¨
You love to ¨color¨ and you only share the broken crayons with me. How sweet.
You HAVE to go to the park every day or you flip out. YOU LOVE the swing and could be on that thing for hours at a time!!!!!!!!
I ask God for patience on a daily basis cuz I need it with you girl...ha!

Love you monkey face!
Mama

More Lil Red Shots.

I shared a few before and here are a few more from my friend Anna´s collection;)

$

Why doesn´t it grow on trees? Life would be so much cooler if it did. Today we saw an amazing place downtown for sale and if I won the lottery I´d be able to buy it. Or..if money grew on trees I´d be planting a lot of those right about now.

I´m worried about space. I need more of it. If and when we pop out another kid one of these days where am I going to put it? On the roof? I might turn African and just wear it on my back until it turns four and then it´s off to school. It won´t take up any space at our home while it´s at school, so that´s nice.

Oh well. I´m sure it will all work itself out.

It´s Europe.
It´s older than time.
And it´s small.

Rant on Hollywood.

I´m so sick of hearing about Hollywood idiots.

Beyoncé´s baby suite...shut the heck up, push the baby out of your vag, and go home like all the rest of us do!!!!!

I shared a room with a fat Moroccan woman who smelled like turkey and I had to put a euro into the tiny match box TV if I wanted to watch it for an hour. Big whoop. Who do these people think they are?

It also infuriates me the headlines two weeks later, ¨Jessica Alba´s post-baby body is phenomenal.¨ Ya, well guess what..mind would be too if I was at the gym twenty hours out of the day and had my own personal cook, nanny and plastic surgeon.

And one more thing Hollywood....stop getting married! You are disgracing it´s seriousness!

me

and my girl.

rearing its ugly head

Nora will be two next month, but I feel like the terrible two´s started when she was born......ha...ok, I mean recently.

Tantrums. Check.
NO MOMMY! Check.
All around naughty-ness. Check.
Stubborn. Check.

My precious daughter and gift from God. Double check.

on browsing.

Most of the time when you go into a store the people that work there will ask you, ¨Are you looking for anything special?¨ And most of the time I reply, ¨Nope, just looking.¨ Which translates into...leave me the hell alone...back the heck off!

So, yesterday when I went into the store looking for a specific face cream..but not wanting help because I wanted to browse around for some other stuff a lady came up to me and asked me if I needed help. I said no. And she just stood right next to me. starting at me. the entire time. while I was looking at face stuff.

Can I just tell you how ridiculousy annoying that is? I said I didn´t need help.

I felt so uncomfortable I ran away. And left her staring. Into space. All alone.

Holy busy-ness

Wow. My parents left this morning and it´s just been so busy I have not had a second to blog. Sorry blog land followers. I am now back and ready to attack.

Vacation was so great. They got here on Dec 30th and we went to pick them up at the airport. All was well until Nora totally vommed on the way home. Strawberry milk. Yum! The car smelled good for about a week..ick!


We rocked in the New Year at Antonio´s parents house and had a lot of fun. You are supposed to eat 12 grapes as the clock is striking midnight but my mom and I didn´t quite make it...I made her...us laugh and we only got to about 4. Hopefully that doesn´t mean that we will have a bad year! Nora made it too. Yay for 2012!

We went on a few roadtrips..Zahara, Cordoba and Cadiz so that was really fun too. It´s fun to show them other cities in Spain and I love to travel too! We had mojitos at the top of a 5 star hotel here in Sevilla and found New York Pizza slices on the way home (at a restaurant). Talk out perfection!

Don´t forget three kings day on Jan 6th. It was like X mas day all over again...and then that nigh parade galore! I finally was able to take down my tree. X mas is never ending here!

Sales started in Jan so there was also lots of shopping to do!! Is it bad that N has an entire wardrobe already until she´s like 4? ha!

There was lots of park going and Starbucks runs and laugh til you cry laughing and long conversations and old movie watching and good food eating and a partridge in a pear tree.

LOVE!

2012!

Happy new year! 2011 passed by so fast I can't even remember hardly any of it!!! I'm still amazed at how fast time flies when you have a kid! Anyways, my parents arrived Friday and we were able to ring in the New Year together. So far so good!!!