Having mom over for dinner

HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one... Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.' About a week later , Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?' Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure. So he sat down and wrote: __________________________________________________________
Dear Mom, I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Brian __________________________________________________________
Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother that read: ____________________________________________________
Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom

LESSON OF THE DAY - NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

Birthday Reminder..

BIRTHDAY REMINDER ---This week we celebrate a special birthday. Monica Lewinsky turned 34. Can you believe it?It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, and putting everything in her mouth.They grow up so fast, ... don't they?

......

-Sorry I have not written in awhile. I´ve been a blog neglector, something I´d never thought I´d be. (tear) Last week I found a weird bump under my chin/neck area so I had to go to the Doc, and then I made another apt because they said they had to jam a needle in my jugular to take out cells to make sure it was normal. Did I mention I´m terrified of needles? So, I worried about the apt. the entire week and made my friend go w me to hold my hand. They basically did a sonogram of my neck and turns out, it´s nothing and no needle needed. Thank God! They could have used the sonogram machine to look at my growing baby.........I kid I kid. I saw all of you just FREAK out right there. What is it with everyone asking me if and when I´m getting prego...even the taxi driver is asking me that! CHILL OUT PEOPLE I´m only Fíng 28 for God´s sake!

-What else, only four days of work left and then I get an entire week off and we are going to Milan for four days. Can´t wait for that!!!! Yipee vacation!

-I saw a man peeing on a church yesterday. Kind of weird.

--I let an old man cut in front of me at the grocery yesterday because he was only carrying one item.........a box of condoms..........again, I kid...it was actually a huge gigantous jar of Nesquik....the old man likes his chocolate milk.


-Today we bought some fab deatils for our flat including a new screen TV for our bedroom. Pimped out...check and check.

-I saw the first Cockroach of the season in our bldg. Kill me now.

That´s all I´ve got for now......until next time America.

C.R.F.

33

Happy Birthday big brother.

surprise!

So, on Friday afternoons I go to this girls house to give her an hour of english lessons. She lives with her parents and brother.

Before I leave the house I usually use the restroom, take my money and run.

This past Friday however was a tad bit different. Someone in her household decided to leave me a nice gift floating in the toilet.

I think I opened the lid and was so surprised and disgusted it went something like this, ¨What the?????? EWWWWWWW SICK!¨

What do you do at a moment like this? I felt like opening the door and being all...¨WHO THE HELL LEFT A FLOATING LOG IN THE TOILET? I¨M A GUEST FOR GODS SAKE SOMEONE COULD AT LEAST FLUSH THE GD TOILET!¨

I am just flabbergasted by this turn of events. Are people really that busy that they can´t be bothered to flush nowadays? How can you FORGET to flush a gigantic log down the toilet? I just dont see it being something that slips your mind.

So, I just flushed it and then went......but not sitting on the toilet and I washed my hands very carefully...dirty dirty bathroom.

So,then I walked out of the bathroom wondering if I would see the look of horror or shame on anyone´s face like OMG I FORGOT TO FLUSH...and there I was just waiting for it....but nothing came. I felt dirty and I don´t think I´m ever going to use that bathroom again.

.....

Yesterday Iwas walking down the street and a guy said, ¨OYE!!!!!!!! Que guapa vas!¨ Basically he was like ¨HEY! You look really pretty.¨ Isn´t that sweet? Im telling you ladies, it´s all about the heels. You can wear heels with anything and you will feel like a million bucks. Granted, I have no flesh on my feet at the moment, but it´s worth it!

Sometimes I can´t believe how my life has turned out. I live in Spain, really? For four years.....what? When I was younger I wouldn´t even spend the night at a friends house because I didn´t like to be away from home. Funny eh?

On Thursday after work there was a free flamenco show at work in the patio. It was a beautiful clear night and there I was just standing there, in Seville, watching a free flamenco show. I thought about all my friends and family and what they were doing at that moment and never would have guessed in a million years that that´s what I would have been doing on a random Thursday night. It´s 80´s and sunny all week and I´m riding my bike around and taking long walks outside and smelling the wondeful flowers. My life is so cool and I couldn´t ask for more!

wowzers.

holy crap it's already friday? wow. this month is flying by and the weeks are so jam packed of fun that i can't stand it! ha.

on wednesday night A and i went to cirque de soleil's Verakai. very cool. i had been to drallion in portland a zillion years ago and i remember it being awesome. i kind of feel like once you have seen one you have kind of seen them all..but that doesn't make it any less awesome. how can people DO some of the things that they do? the show is very long and every thing down to the sound effects are perfect. i was just in awe thinking about how many zillions of hours of practice and time goes into each show. just for that it's amazing!

i've always wanted to sit down and just chat with someone that lives their life travelling with a circus. i want to hear every last detail about what it's like to travel all the time, the hours of practice and of course....all the drama that goes on with all of the cast members...because you know there is drama. awesome! they have like their own mini soap opera.

so anywho, that was the highlight of my week. the weather is crazy nice here and it's sunny and high 70s low 80s. i'm loving that!

that's all for now. TGIF!

Pics of Gibraltar

Spanish countryside

A was so happy there was a Subway! YUMMY!

Cherry coke poptarts and dr pepper oh my!

here she is...the rock!

I officially have Dr. Pepper in my fridge!

So, today I convinced my husband to drive me to the Rock of Gibraltar. It's only 2 hours away...and it's awesome. It's basically like going to London for the day..passport, english accents, and phone booths to boot!
Most importantly I went for the food! I stepped into a grocery store heaven. EVERYTHING that I want and miss from the States this grocery store had. For example, Dr. Pepper, Cherry coke, Pop tarts, Cake mix, Brownie Mix, Frosting, Bagels, Cadbury chocolate, Bounce dryer sheets and possibly a few more things...but seriously? I think we will be going there much more often. Antonio was talking to me and I couldn't even concentrate..it was like I was in the clouds, floating with angels wings.

Apart from the grocery we walked around the town...basically it's separated into monkeys/humans. We skipped the monkey's today. Maybe some other day. But it's wicked. You drive there and to get to the rock you have to drive across the airport landing strip! It's wicked, very hard to explain, but awesome. Then we immediately drove to the grocery store. This place is crazy though. I kind of felt like everyone was on speed and it was WAY too crowded. Things are way too close together and I kind of felt like I couldn't breathe. But the english accents were cool and of course the Dr. Pepper made the trip well worth it. I think people don't really know English or Spanish that well so they start to speak one and when the get stuck they just switch. It will def. do your head in! Crazy!

THEN to top it all off we ate lunch at Subway..which they also don't have in Spain and it's A's absolute favorite! All in all...a fabulous day!

I officially have Dr. Pepper in my fridge!

nephew

standin´in line

So, I just got hit on by an 81 year old man at the grocery store. How do I know he was 81? He happened to mention it. I offered to let him cut me since I had a cart load of things and he was only holding a box of condoms.... Not really, but can you imagine? THAT would have been awesome.

While deciding if he wanted to pass me in line or not he whipped out a piece of paper and said ¨read this.¨ Apparently it was a poem his great-granddaughter wrote. I have no idea what it was about and I felt like I was reading Chinese. I also don´t think he realized I was foreign and he kept looking at me and I could tell he was thinking ¨dang this girl is a slow reader.¨

So, I finally finished ¨reading¨ it and he said, ¨Did you like it?¨ I smiled and said, ¨Of course.¨ Then he laughed and decided that he didn´t want to pass me in line after all. Probably so he could stare at my ass.

He then said, ¨A woman´s smile is the most beautiful thing on earth¨ as he helped me unload my tampon and condom filled cart.