S A T C

my favorite lines from sex and the city...ever


¨Babies are not my scene, and from what I´ve heard this one sounds like an asshole.¨

¨You can´t call a baby an asshole.¨

¨Why not? She called it a meatloaf.¨

AND...
(talking about ¨neck massagers¨ to fellow women in the store.)

¨No, absolutely not that will burn your clit off!¨

¨Even with underwear?¨

¨Even with ski pads.¨

if u want to wet your pants

look at these.....


http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20175463,00.html


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIQrBouWRiE

:(

A friend of our family committed suicide yesterday. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.


My cat died:( Her name was Cally and I picked her out when I was 11......she was 16 so needless to say she lived a long and happy life. It´s hard to lose a pet. I´ll always love you Cally Cat.

don´t deny it.

you know you used to watch blossom.
and you KNOW you were jealous of that back walk-over that she did in the beginning credits. holler!

fruit cake

I just stopped at the fruit stand on my way home to buy fruit. The radio happened to be on (who knows what they were saying) and the owner of the store looks at me and says, ¨Americans and Brits are the most hypocritical people out there.¨ Then I punched him in the face and said, ¨And we´ve got a hell of a right hook you SOB.¨

Ok, maybe I didn´t punch him but I did in my own mind. Ass.

sp?

I usually finish my prep time early so I go talk to my friend (we will call her Lula) before class starts.

She had some things written on the board and I pointed to a word and said, ¨I don´t think that´s how you spell that.¨

¨What, SIZZORS?¨

¨Ya, I said, I just don´t think that looks right?¨

¨I´ve spelled it like that my whole life Sizzors.¨

¨Look, I know you come from England but do you honestly spell sizzors like sizzors? I´m pretty sure it´s scissors.¨

¨What? Why would it have a C in it?¨

¨Go get the dictionary.¨

¨Oh, you´re right. Wow. 34 years and all this time I thought it was sizzors. I´m sure the kids would have never known.¨

new charles

Mundays

As I was just walking home from work I turned the corner and saw a dog......eating a diaper. I couldn´t help but laugh. I´m sure it was a dirty diaper too. I´m never letting our dog lick my face again.

Yes, I´m Alive.

Indeed.

emb. medical moments.

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.

I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that r ead, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener ".

grape stomp

http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=i9UA-JSBm90

birthday boy

happy birthday papa! the big 58! you are looking good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love you

sara lindsay

love note

i got my first love note in class. a 7 year old girl walked up to me and said, ¨sara, do you know how to read in spanish?¨ i said ¨yes¨ and she handed me the note. it reads.

Sara
Te quiero
Lala

and then she gave me a big hug. awww.

Yesterday I got another massage. My back is killing me here people. So, I found a man that comes to my gym, which is very handy since that´s right across the st. and it´s only 15 euros. So, I worked out and then went to get the massage. I didn´t want to get a shower beforehand because then I´d just have to take another one with all of the sensual oils, etc. So, I go up to the man, introduce myself and then I said..I´m going to use the restroom really quick and then I´m ready. He´s like ¨ya, go ahead and take a shower.¨ WHAT? CRAP! So, I went to the bathroom, dried my pits off and came back in two seconds looking exactly the same. I think he was grossed out. My bad!

Latest Grill Accessories.

I so need to get me some of those.

holy cow

i´ve had two migraines this weekend. what is up with that?????''

high tailing it

I got a new car! Kind of. Back home in IN I had a 2000 Jeep Cherokee.......now I have a 2006 Toyota Highlander. Since I don´t live there my parents will take care of it until I´m back. Yee ha.


Amanda Overmyer is from Mulberry IN!!! (American Idol) That´s where my mom was born. And she´s my cousins X girlfriend. Wicked!!!!!!!

I think I´m getting another migraine as I type this...this is getting really annoying!

here we go again

I got a migraine on the bus today on the way to teach my classes. But I kicked this migraines @ss!

our flat

we still have little details to do but here is where we are at so far.

turquoise is my hero

did u know that turquoise is my favorite color? i´m obsessed. here is my new shirt that i´m wearing today. I LOVE IT!!!!!

oh the irony

I´m blue

I was standing in line to buy this beautiful turquoise blouse when I felt this sharp pain on the back of my legs. I turn around and it was a little girl (3) pushing her own stroller and she rammed right into me. Of course the grandma was like ¨hahaha, carla be careful!¨ I wanted to punch Carla in the face. I don´t care if she´s three........hold me back.

chiro

I´ve been going to the chiropracter since I was seventeen years old. I have scholiosis…and a lot of other random things. Sometimes my ribs pop out of place. It´s a long story. But, I go, get them popped back and I¨m as good as new. Well, I haven´t found a chiro here (nor have I looked really) so I usually go when I visit the states and that´s that. Well, recently I haven´t been sleeping well at night because my ribs are out of place so it´s very uncomfortable. So, I checked around and found a place and decided to go today. Holy Hell.

First up was a massage by a scary lady named Alda. She talked like a man and kept laughing like a hyena about who knows what. I had to take off my shirt and then she kept pulling my pants down so my crack was totally hanging out. It wasn´t even a proper massage table so I had to put my forehead on my two hands. That is not comfortable. There was a red light shining on me, basically burning my ass and that was supposed to be for..heck, I can´t even remember. Then the 80 year old chiro comes in and tries to crack my back but it doesn´t so he tells her to keep on going with the massages. He comes in again and I´m standing there in my bra and my pants are undone. Sweet. So, then this other young ¨student¨ comes in and I had to put both hands on the sides of my head like I was doing the Macarena and they both tried to crack my back and there was no such luck. It was just so random. Then I had to go into the docs office and he looked at my pupils. He said I need more calcium and that my right ovary is swollen. Go figure. He also said that ¨we as americans¨ drink too much milk and that is bad. The final kicker was they put me in a ¨stretching machine¨ to ¨stretch¨ my spine. Basically I had to lay down and I was strapped down with some crazy chains. They put my head in a device and a strap under my chin and then started cranking this button. She put the radio on and walked away. She said I had to be like that for 15 minutes. I totally had a panic attack and started freaking out and crying. It was seriously awful. I don´t think I will be going back.

Hemmingway

Antonio got me a new book for Christmas. I have been eyeing it lately. Obviously I like to read or otherwise I wouldn´t have chosen Enlgish Lit as my major. That´s all we did was read and write read and write read and write. I´ve read three books since Christmas (I highly reccomend The Glass Castle). At any rate, I was thinking that this book is just too big and I couldn´t bring myself to even start it. It´s bordering 200 pgs. (haha 2,000 that is!) This could quite possibly be the largest book I´ve ever read. It´s by Ken Follett and it´s the sequel to Pillars of the Earth (Which I also loved). But, since my husband is in Madrid I decided to tackle it last night. I´m proudly on pg. 12. (Hey, it was late, I got tired). The book is called ¨Un Mundo Sin Fin¨ That´s right folks 2.000 pgs in Español. Good times. La Sombra del Viento is another excellent book. I got it for my mom for X mas in English. Go out and buy it right now!

I then got to thinking how dang smart my friends are. My best friends are lawyers and optometrists. I have a few friends at Harvard getting their masters and another at ND getting his PHD. A few other friends getting their Phds in cool stuff and a few other docs thrown in there. They use words that I can´t understand and half the time I don´t know what they are talking about. I´m not gonna feel bad about it though cuz I bet they can´t say,

¨Wow, those are some big balls¨ in Spanish.

I´m so proud.

weiner poopie.

this is.........just crazy!

http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=HUJ4es4cYIU

big freaking fish!

This Sturgeon was caught on the Black River at South Haven Michigan last week.
It weighed out at over 1,000 lbs and measured out at 11'1".
It was 56" around the girth and took over 6 and a half hours and 4 dozen beers for
the 4 guys taking turns reeling.

Note to self......NEVER go swimming in lake michigan again! My aunt and uncle have a sailboat there and I won´t be diving in anytime soon. HOLY COW!

still laughing..

Married for a Night


A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!"
After a moment of silence, he farted.

The Value Of a Drink

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame.

Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams .

If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.

Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

~ Jack Handy

How do you really feel about your new step mom?

what a great way to start your monday

charles.

Don´t miss the guy in the background to the left.

Lets make a deal!

My father in law stopped smoking after 40 smthg. years of tobacco. Hip Hip Hooray!

A man leaves on Monday for Madrid again. 1 mth. BOO HISS.

I laugh at spanish girls working out. I say ¨working out¨ but it´s really just ...not. 2 minutes on the treadmill is not worth it honey. Stay in bed.

We went to some factory outlets and got some great deals. I am all about the bargains and my body goes numb. I get tingly all over. It´s fantastic. Here is the deal of the century..we went to Puma and got TWO 105 euro jackets for 12 euros! So, instead of paying 210 euros I paid 12. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holler!