chiro
I´ve been going to the chiropracter since I was seventeen years old. I have scholiosis…and a lot of other random things. Sometimes my ribs pop out of place. It´s a long story. But, I go, get them popped back and I¨m as good as new. Well, I haven´t found a chiro here (nor have I looked really) so I usually go when I visit the states and that´s that. Well, recently I haven´t been sleeping well at night because my ribs are out of place so it´s very uncomfortable. So, I checked around and found a place and decided to go today. Holy Hell.
First up was a massage by a scary lady named Alda. She talked like a man and kept laughing like a hyena about who knows what. I had to take off my shirt and then she kept pulling my pants down so my crack was totally hanging out. It wasn´t even a proper massage table so I had to put my forehead on my two hands. That is not comfortable. There was a red light shining on me, basically burning my ass and that was supposed to be for..heck, I can´t even remember. Then the 80 year old chiro comes in and tries to crack my back but it doesn´t so he tells her to keep on going with the massages. He comes in again and I´m standing there in my bra and my pants are undone. Sweet. So, then this other young ¨student¨ comes in and I had to put both hands on the sides of my head like I was doing the Macarena and they both tried to crack my back and there was no such luck. It was just so random. Then I had to go into the docs office and he looked at my pupils. He said I need more calcium and that my right ovary is swollen. Go figure. He also said that ¨we as americans¨ drink too much milk and that is bad. The final kicker was they put me in a ¨stretching machine¨ to ¨stretch¨ my spine. Basically I had to lay down and I was strapped down with some crazy chains. They put my head in a device and a strap under my chin and then started cranking this button. She put the radio on and walked away. She said I had to be like that for 15 minutes. I totally had a panic attack and started freaking out and crying. It was seriously awful. I don´t think I will be going back.
First up was a massage by a scary lady named Alda. She talked like a man and kept laughing like a hyena about who knows what. I had to take off my shirt and then she kept pulling my pants down so my crack was totally hanging out. It wasn´t even a proper massage table so I had to put my forehead on my two hands. That is not comfortable. There was a red light shining on me, basically burning my ass and that was supposed to be for..heck, I can´t even remember. Then the 80 year old chiro comes in and tries to crack my back but it doesn´t so he tells her to keep on going with the massages. He comes in again and I´m standing there in my bra and my pants are undone. Sweet. So, then this other young ¨student¨ comes in and I had to put both hands on the sides of my head like I was doing the Macarena and they both tried to crack my back and there was no such luck. It was just so random. Then I had to go into the docs office and he looked at my pupils. He said I need more calcium and that my right ovary is swollen. Go figure. He also said that ¨we as americans¨ drink too much milk and that is bad. The final kicker was they put me in a ¨stretching machine¨ to ¨stretch¨ my spine. Basically I had to lay down and I was strapped down with some crazy chains. They put my head in a device and a strap under my chin and then started cranking this button. She put the radio on and walked away. She said I had to be like that for 15 minutes. I totally had a panic attack and started freaking out and crying. It was seriously awful. I don´t think I will be going back.
posted by Sara at 10:04 PM
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