Wednesday, January 30, 2008

why god made moms by 2nd graders.

WHY GOD MADE MOMS Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name.2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.2. She got too old to do anything else with him.3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 2. Mom . You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to slee p over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

more charles.



Tuesday, January 29, 2008

recipe hunt

If anyone has any easy fun recipes send them my way please, thanks!

side note; i was on an empty bus today and sitting on an aisle seat. an old man gets on..and empty bus (besides me) and asks me if he can sit next to me. meaning i have to stand up so he can squeeze by......on an empty bus. empty bus. empty bus.

also, teens have 4am curphews here. wowza.

was chris farley ever a sperm donator?


my other nephew herve.

charlie


Monday, January 28, 2008

hospital call

My father in law is in the hospital! Him and my bro in law work at an olive oil factory. At any rate, my father in laws job is to fix any machine that is broken. He put his hand in a functioning machine and basically cut half of his finger off. So, he will be in the hospital for TWO entire days. They are treating infection etc. So, that was my night!

Get better soon papa in law!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

happy sunday

That´s what Antonio and I always say to each other when we wake up on Sundays. Today was a good one. We like to go to the market on Sundays and there is also a market for baby animals. I LOVE PUPPIES. I want one..someday!

We then went to the country house and I rode a bike. I haven´t ridden a bike in YEARS. It had a bell and everything. I felt like a little girl again.

Then, tonight I made snickerdoodles. I lost count after five. They are delicious. This is a big deal for me. I´ve always been a pretty good baker and not a good cook. If we lived off of sweets that would be fantastic. When I was living with A´s parents I was dying because their oven was no good. I burnt brownies at least 3 or 4 times.....due to the oven! Also, a lot of people in Spain really don´t have ovens..cookies etc. are NOT common. When I was home in IN I had to get ingredients like baking soda, baking powder, cream of tartar.....Ya, it took me awhile to find that! So, you see, these snickerdoodles are magical in my eyes!

Happy sunday!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

church can be hilarious.


?

I just got an anonymous comment (of course you can´t leave your name) that said,

¨Everybody dies, not just gay people.¨

Hey, thanks for clearing that up for me anonymous..for a second there I thought ONLY gay people died. I thought I was going to live forever. Thanks for bursting my bubble.

Also, don´t call me a wanker. I prefer to be called Wankett.

Friday, January 25, 2008

happenings

There is a lot of spitting and smoking going on in Spain. EVERYONE smokes. And as for the spitting, I almost got hacked on today walking down the street. THAT would not have been good.

I had some interesting bus rides today. On my way to class I got on the bus and was sitting all the way in the back. The bus was pretty much empty and this WEIRD man gets on and RUNS to the back and basically sits right behind me. So, I can feel him breathing down my neck and by this point I´m scared. He taps me and says, ¨This is bus 21, right?¨ ¨Um, yes, ¨I responded. I seriously thought something weird was going on back there like he was playing with it or something. If that was the case I would have jumped out of a moving bus. Thank the Lord that wasn´t the case. So, after a few stops he pushes the button and stands up to get off the bus. His pants are sooo tight I can clearly see his crack line. He then gets off the bus turns around..winks and licks his lips at me?? Ok? gross.

Then, on the way home my busdriver decided he did not need to stop at red lights. Who died and crowned him King of red light skipping? Not cool. My knuckles hurt as I was holding on for dear life.

Yesterday we went to visit Antonios uncle and he gave us lots of important things like dishes, tea sets, a fan, vacuum cleaner, paintings, a cheese holder and most importantly lots of wine. We then went to see his grandmother in the nursing home who will be 101 years old in April. I don´t think anyone should live that long. She´s basically a vegetable and they amputated her leg for poor circulation about two years ago. She´s been in bed for two years. She has no teeth and her chin bone touches her top lip. Can you see that? Not pretty. She also had a stroke over X mas and the whole left side of her body is paralyzed. She´s also blind and deaf.
I´ve decided I am never getting old.

Isn´t it weird how you say something like, ¨Gee, I haven´t woken up to those idiot neighbors putting their laundry on the line in like two weeks. ¨ And then the very next day you wake up to the neighbors putting their clothes on the line. What´s up with that?

Those are all of the main important happenings in my life so you are now up to date.
-There will be no Brokeback Mt. 2. How bout them apples?

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Grandma in Court

Grandma in court>>>

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.>>

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?">> She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.">>

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you kn ow the defense attorney?" She again replied,>>

"Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.">>

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair.>

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

oops




i forgot to add x mas pics of when i was in IN in dec..sorry for the delay!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

hilarious.

It reads:
"Actress Kate Hudson, right, with an unidentified girl, watches as the Golden State Warriors play the Minnesota Timberwolves in the second half of an NBA basketball game on Monday, Jan. 21, 2008, in Oakland, Calif. The Timberwolves won 109-108."


it´s her son!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, January 21, 2008

breakfast at tiffanys

a shout out to s gibson! we DO indeed have the same life.

Hi bushy!

ok, now on to the joke...

A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks up nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't appear right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?' Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little ’accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shi& when I tell you the price.' --

Saturday, January 19, 2008

where the sidewalk ends.


first things first.. I got a new cell phone. I´m in love with it. I´ve been using an embarrassing 1904 cell phone from Antonio. It was way overdue. So, I enclosed some pics since I´m so excited.


We just saw the movie American gangsters. Good times.


A and I went to the grocery today. We walk there. We take our little cart and walk. It´s fun. Usually when you are walking on the sidewalk you follow the same rules as if you were on the freeway..stay on the right (unless you are in England of course) So, we are walking along this sort of fence (on the right side of the sidewalk) and I notice this older lady coming straight for me. Keep in mind there is no one else on the side walk only A and I so she has plenty of room to move over. So, we´re getting closer and closer and I keep thinking ¨isn´t she going to move¨ Nope. She didn´t move. So, I stood my ground because why should I move? So we got closer to each other and then we just stopped and stood there. So, I just looked at her kind of like ¨what the heck are u doing¨ I swear she gave me the meanest glare I´ve ever seen. I think she poked a hole through my lungs with her laser beam eyes. In the end I ended up having to TURN SIDEWAYS just to get by! What a freak! Oh well, at least I have my new cell phone to call 911 for my punctured lungs!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

will ferrell

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

It´s Business Time

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

for the love of




all that is holy and pure WHY did I wake up at six thirty this morning and lay starting at the ceiling for two hours. oh, because the neighbor had to put their clothes on the line. WHAT THE HECK. what am i going to do about this ?!


enclosed is more charlie because he makes me feel better.

im´back, so back off!

Yes indeed I am alive.

-Chris...still not done yet! ha
-Rachel-yes, true story!

Ok, sorry I have been MIA. Throw me a bone here. Coming back to Spain is ridiculous as far as the time change is concerned. I don´t get tired until four am and then I wake up at 1130 and feel like someone has slugged me in the gut....then the face. It´s nice. Also, I´m having a hard time sleeping. I´m kind of a light sleeper and guess what´s waking me up at six am....CLOTHING LINES. First of all, who in the HECK puts their clothes on the line at six am? I wake up to the SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH of the line. I swear I am going to throw acid on someones face. HAHA. I´m not angry. Secondly, I miss CVS. How I wish I could just walk into a CVS. Count your lucky stars that you have a drugstore that you can just mosy right on into and get all sorts of fantastic meds like nyquil and then pick up a pack of ...gum if you want. Here there is a ¨pharmacy¨ but it´s all whacked out. I don´t know the names of any meds. You walk in and have to go up to the counter and specifically ask for what you want. Heck if I know what anything is called. Plus, things have ridiculously long names here. UGH! And thirdly, we just got internet. Our comp has been at A´s parents house this entire time because we were too lazy to get internet in our house. Well guess what, we have it...so you will be hearing from me every TWO SECONDS!
It´s one am. Wow, this feels weird. Am I in college procrastinating again?

fist and foremost.......



new pics of charlie! i have the cutest newphew in the WORLD!

Monday, January 07, 2008

españa

back in spain. pretty uneventful. on the way there the wind was so bad landing in chicago i think everyone was puking in their little white baggies..pretty gross.

also, i was by the window FREEZING so i asked the gentleman on the end of he would mind getting my coat for me in the overhead dept. this man happened to be african american and he reminded me that slavery days were over. how about them apples?

Friday, January 04, 2008

another LONG journey ahead

so, my two weeks are up and i'm headed back to spain tomorrow. even though i've only been home for two weeks i feel like i've been home forEVER! weird. i'm ready to get back to my hubby, home, and new job. exciting!

wish me luck.

chicago, amsterdam, madrid, seville..here i come!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

adios 2007

2007 was a good year.

A lot of big things happened in 2007. I think it was the year of the weddings.

Here are a couple of my highlights for the year

1)Got married
2) lost my virginity (yes, in that order)
3)went to puerto rico
4)new house owner
5)got a new job
6)am a new auntie

those are only six things..but those are pretty gosh darn big things.

all the best to you in 2008. i have a feeling it's going to be a good one.