BAT man
Have you ever sat on a wet toilet seat at three thirty in the morning? I suggest you avoid it at all costs, not fun. I felt that just my butt was being dumped into the Atlantic. The cold, wet Atlantic.
Speaking of toilets, did you know that there is NEVER any toilet paper in public restrooms here? I think they put one roll out for the entire day..of course that lasts about five minutes. I usually use a leaf, a cockroach, or any other object nearby for wiping purposes.
Double parking is simply amazing here in the city. There will be a line of cars along the curb and then ANOTHER line of cars totally blocking those people in. It´s amazing to me. I am always so baffled as to how the other cars get out. Apparently if you want out you just get in your car and honk for about five minutes until the person that is parking you in comes out to move their car. Apparently they´ve never heard of walking, or buses, or taxis.
This morning I almost captured the most hilarious picture in the world on film, almost. You see, the dog mounted Antonio´s leg out of the blue and just starting humping away. It´s a girl dog by the way so we´re pretty convinced she´s a lesbian. Anyways, I just happened to have my digital camera right there in the closet, I reached in, turned it on, and the battery was dead! Kodak moment, vanished in the wind, forever.
Today I took the dog to the park with me again and that´s always an adventure in and of itself. On the way there I saw a dead bat etched into the sidewalk. It looked like it had jumped off the top of the building and forgot how to use its wings. Ewww.
Little toddlers are SUPER dressed up here. In the park these kids are wearing their Sunday bests, not even that I´m going to say EASTER Sunday bests, with the hats and the gloves. OK, maybe not that decked out but you get my point. Last time I checked you don´t put toddlers in tights and dresses to go play in the sandbox and swings. I´m just gonna put my baby in a diaper and say, ¨Have at it kid.¨ Then they would lock me away..forever.
People whistle here and pucker their lips and suck in to make that sound that it makes whenever they see a dog. Always. It drives me crazy because a dog can just be all chilling and casual and then someone comes by and whistles and it gets them all riled up like they just ate a spoon full of sugar or something. So, I´m trying to run with the dog. There is this guy behind me who keeps making that sound with his lips so of course the dog keeps wanting to turn around to look at the man who is making the fish lips and weird noises. So, I´m basically trying to run one way and the dog another. The man was whistling like this for about 2 minutes. For the love of God stop with the whistling already, can´t you see it´s making my running experience a living hell?! So, I finally turned around and yelled STOP IT. I had already tried the death look and that wasn´t working. He finally stopped. Thank you Lord! But seriously, would you have kept whistling? Ok, don´t answer that.
Then, on the way home this drunken angry man started screaming at me about my dog and not being clean. Hey man, I take showers on occassion. He has no basis for these insults. I was kind of scared so I started to run. I think I heard him laughing. So much for a protective dog, when I needed to run to make the get away you know what the dog did? She peed.
I´m off, like the clapper at night,
SF
Speaking of toilets, did you know that there is NEVER any toilet paper in public restrooms here? I think they put one roll out for the entire day..of course that lasts about five minutes. I usually use a leaf, a cockroach, or any other object nearby for wiping purposes.
Double parking is simply amazing here in the city. There will be a line of cars along the curb and then ANOTHER line of cars totally blocking those people in. It´s amazing to me. I am always so baffled as to how the other cars get out. Apparently if you want out you just get in your car and honk for about five minutes until the person that is parking you in comes out to move their car. Apparently they´ve never heard of walking, or buses, or taxis.
This morning I almost captured the most hilarious picture in the world on film, almost. You see, the dog mounted Antonio´s leg out of the blue and just starting humping away. It´s a girl dog by the way so we´re pretty convinced she´s a lesbian. Anyways, I just happened to have my digital camera right there in the closet, I reached in, turned it on, and the battery was dead! Kodak moment, vanished in the wind, forever.
Today I took the dog to the park with me again and that´s always an adventure in and of itself. On the way there I saw a dead bat etched into the sidewalk. It looked like it had jumped off the top of the building and forgot how to use its wings. Ewww.
Little toddlers are SUPER dressed up here. In the park these kids are wearing their Sunday bests, not even that I´m going to say EASTER Sunday bests, with the hats and the gloves. OK, maybe not that decked out but you get my point. Last time I checked you don´t put toddlers in tights and dresses to go play in the sandbox and swings. I´m just gonna put my baby in a diaper and say, ¨Have at it kid.¨ Then they would lock me away..forever.
People whistle here and pucker their lips and suck in to make that sound that it makes whenever they see a dog. Always. It drives me crazy because a dog can just be all chilling and casual and then someone comes by and whistles and it gets them all riled up like they just ate a spoon full of sugar or something. So, I´m trying to run with the dog. There is this guy behind me who keeps making that sound with his lips so of course the dog keeps wanting to turn around to look at the man who is making the fish lips and weird noises. So, I´m basically trying to run one way and the dog another. The man was whistling like this for about 2 minutes. For the love of God stop with the whistling already, can´t you see it´s making my running experience a living hell?! So, I finally turned around and yelled STOP IT. I had already tried the death look and that wasn´t working. He finally stopped. Thank you Lord! But seriously, would you have kept whistling? Ok, don´t answer that.
Then, on the way home this drunken angry man started screaming at me about my dog and not being clean. Hey man, I take showers on occassion. He has no basis for these insults. I was kind of scared so I started to run. I think I heard him laughing. So much for a protective dog, when I needed to run to make the get away you know what the dog did? She peed.
I´m off, like the clapper at night,
SF
posted by Sara at 12:00 PM
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