Ode to Random
How funny is it that they serve beer at McDonalds and pizza hut?
My day started off great. Our dog is NEVER allowed up on the bed or any kind of furniture for that matter. Well, today I was feeling cuddly so I let her up this morning. You are not going to believe this folks...drum roll please...the dog started her period on my bed!!!!!!!!!!! That´s all I have to say about that.
How uncomfortable is it try on shoes or any other clothes for that matter? Shoes it´s like they go get the shoes, then stare at you while you try them on. (OK; I don´t feel pressured to buy them or anything!) And clothes, it´s like they were just waiting for you to come out of the dressing room...and then LEAP they´re on top of you like a lion on a zebra. It´s nutso.
Ok, When am I going to stop getting pimples? This is just ridiculous! I feel like I´m 14 again. Who knew that pimples would continue on into womanhood? How embarrassing. One day my face is Charlize Theron, the next it´s Monster. I´m not quite sure what to do about it. I feel like going out in public with a paper bag over my head. Isn´t it horrible when you have a zit and you feel like that is ALL people are looking at.
Well, Juan Manzano has started the dance party outside my window. Did I already tell you about him? He´s about 50 something and just does drugs and drinks all day long. He wakes me up every Saturday morning sounding like a broken record saying ¨Buenos Dias, Buenos Dias, Buenos Dias.¨ Botellon has begun for the night. No sleep for me!
Did I mention that every Spanish woman I see is pregnant right now? When I studied here three years ago no one was pregnant and now EVERYONE is...I wonder what´s up with that? (And no, I´m not by the way). I was sick a few weeks ago and I had TWO people ask me if I was pregnant. I wasn´t sure how to take that...ok, I think I was offended. The V card is still in tact folks...and I´m DANG proud!
Here´s an interesting fact. I was reading in the paper today that a whopping 63 percent of Spaniards DO NOT use internet. Weird. Meaning, they don´t have it in their homes because of costs. I thought that was interesante.
Man, Spanish is hard. At lunch I was trying to explain that my brother broke his leg when he was little while the babysitter was watching him. Instead of saying baby sitter I said woman crab. Oops. With a crab watching him no wonder he broke his leg. Everyone just laughed, so I joined them. Sometimes I have to laugh not to cry. Saying R´s and A´s ..it´s just so hard and reflexives like se te le me..ok who cares already?! Plus a word always has to be fem or masculine..WHY!? Why can´t it just be an it gosh darnit!
Oh man, this show started last night called Gran Hermano. It´s basically like Real World on MTV. Anyways, this girl Inma came out and her face was covered in make up. I had never seen anything like it. She looked like she ran into a paint easel. She used lip liner but totally painted above her lips, like right below her nose to make it look like her lips were bigger and her blue eye shadow was out of control. Way beyond 80s baby. So, during commerical break I went in and painted my face like hers and came out ...and it was hilaroius. I had everyone rolling on the floor laughing. I should have taken a pic. Ah, the things I do for entertainment.
I think it´s hilarous on side streets or whatever if there is a pedestrian in the road and a car wants by they just honk. Haha. That would definitely be considered rude back home, but I´ve noticed it´s a natural thing here these past few days. To get out of the gas station you have to go through a small opening. Well, there was a guy crossing the street and this car just honked..like get out of my way you A hole. At that moment I thought of my drivers test at 16 when one of the questions was ¨When you see a pedestrian crossing the street you should A) Stop and let them cross B) Honk and scream out the window get out of the way! or C) Run over them
I guess B would be the right answer here!
Weight is constantly talked about, which drives me insane. I´ve pretty much accepted that...that´s going to be the topic of conversation if I haven´t seen someone for awhile. A´s uncle came over today and he´s a bigger man. Well, his mom talks to his uncle for like ten minutes about how fat he´s gotten. I know, weird. Also, I get felt up all of the time by his mom and aunts. It´s true, my breasts have been fondled by my prob mother in law. Gross. But, I have to get used to it. You see, it´s like I´m a manican when this happens. It´s A´s mom and his aunt and they just talk about me like I´m not in this body that they are fondling. And in the meantime I´m screaming on the inside, HELP! Talk about uncomfortable. Family is super important here. His aunt, uncle and cousin came over to eat today. It´s so hilarious because when they leave it´s like first we all say goodbye, then we walk to the door and watch them get into the elevator, and then we walk to the balcony and watch them get into their car and wave goodbye, and it´s not like we aren´t going to see them in months. Oh no, they come over on a weekly basis. Oh Spain, I love you.
I am basically peeing my pants right now. Antonio does this ¨basketball¨ move which makes me pee every time. He acts like he´s holding a basketball and he twirls around in a circle and shoots a fake ball into the air while his shoes are squeaking...all the while curdling his lips like a goldfish. It´s hilarious. He also says, ¨Sorry sweetie¨ all the time. Oh no, what have I done?!
Trying to avoid getting fondled on a weekly basis by my ¨family members¨
SF
My day started off great. Our dog is NEVER allowed up on the bed or any kind of furniture for that matter. Well, today I was feeling cuddly so I let her up this morning. You are not going to believe this folks...drum roll please...the dog started her period on my bed!!!!!!!!!!! That´s all I have to say about that.
How uncomfortable is it try on shoes or any other clothes for that matter? Shoes it´s like they go get the shoes, then stare at you while you try them on. (OK; I don´t feel pressured to buy them or anything!) And clothes, it´s like they were just waiting for you to come out of the dressing room...and then LEAP they´re on top of you like a lion on a zebra. It´s nutso.
Ok, When am I going to stop getting pimples? This is just ridiculous! I feel like I´m 14 again. Who knew that pimples would continue on into womanhood? How embarrassing. One day my face is Charlize Theron, the next it´s Monster. I´m not quite sure what to do about it. I feel like going out in public with a paper bag over my head. Isn´t it horrible when you have a zit and you feel like that is ALL people are looking at.
Well, Juan Manzano has started the dance party outside my window. Did I already tell you about him? He´s about 50 something and just does drugs and drinks all day long. He wakes me up every Saturday morning sounding like a broken record saying ¨Buenos Dias, Buenos Dias, Buenos Dias.¨ Botellon has begun for the night. No sleep for me!
Did I mention that every Spanish woman I see is pregnant right now? When I studied here three years ago no one was pregnant and now EVERYONE is...I wonder what´s up with that? (And no, I´m not by the way). I was sick a few weeks ago and I had TWO people ask me if I was pregnant. I wasn´t sure how to take that...ok, I think I was offended. The V card is still in tact folks...and I´m DANG proud!
Here´s an interesting fact. I was reading in the paper today that a whopping 63 percent of Spaniards DO NOT use internet. Weird. Meaning, they don´t have it in their homes because of costs. I thought that was interesante.
Man, Spanish is hard. At lunch I was trying to explain that my brother broke his leg when he was little while the babysitter was watching him. Instead of saying baby sitter I said woman crab. Oops. With a crab watching him no wonder he broke his leg. Everyone just laughed, so I joined them. Sometimes I have to laugh not to cry. Saying R´s and A´s ..it´s just so hard and reflexives like se te le me..ok who cares already?! Plus a word always has to be fem or masculine..WHY!? Why can´t it just be an it gosh darnit!
Oh man, this show started last night called Gran Hermano. It´s basically like Real World on MTV. Anyways, this girl Inma came out and her face was covered in make up. I had never seen anything like it. She looked like she ran into a paint easel. She used lip liner but totally painted above her lips, like right below her nose to make it look like her lips were bigger and her blue eye shadow was out of control. Way beyond 80s baby. So, during commerical break I went in and painted my face like hers and came out ...and it was hilaroius. I had everyone rolling on the floor laughing. I should have taken a pic. Ah, the things I do for entertainment.
I think it´s hilarous on side streets or whatever if there is a pedestrian in the road and a car wants by they just honk. Haha. That would definitely be considered rude back home, but I´ve noticed it´s a natural thing here these past few days. To get out of the gas station you have to go through a small opening. Well, there was a guy crossing the street and this car just honked..like get out of my way you A hole. At that moment I thought of my drivers test at 16 when one of the questions was ¨When you see a pedestrian crossing the street you should A) Stop and let them cross B) Honk and scream out the window get out of the way! or C) Run over them
I guess B would be the right answer here!
Weight is constantly talked about, which drives me insane. I´ve pretty much accepted that...that´s going to be the topic of conversation if I haven´t seen someone for awhile. A´s uncle came over today and he´s a bigger man. Well, his mom talks to his uncle for like ten minutes about how fat he´s gotten. I know, weird. Also, I get felt up all of the time by his mom and aunts. It´s true, my breasts have been fondled by my prob mother in law. Gross. But, I have to get used to it. You see, it´s like I´m a manican when this happens. It´s A´s mom and his aunt and they just talk about me like I´m not in this body that they are fondling. And in the meantime I´m screaming on the inside, HELP! Talk about uncomfortable. Family is super important here. His aunt, uncle and cousin came over to eat today. It´s so hilarious because when they leave it´s like first we all say goodbye, then we walk to the door and watch them get into the elevator, and then we walk to the balcony and watch them get into their car and wave goodbye, and it´s not like we aren´t going to see them in months. Oh no, they come over on a weekly basis. Oh Spain, I love you.
I am basically peeing my pants right now. Antonio does this ¨basketball¨ move which makes me pee every time. He acts like he´s holding a basketball and he twirls around in a circle and shoots a fake ball into the air while his shoes are squeaking...all the while curdling his lips like a goldfish. It´s hilarious. He also says, ¨Sorry sweetie¨ all the time. Oh no, what have I done?!
Trying to avoid getting fondled on a weekly basis by my ¨family members¨
SF
posted by Sara at 12:30 PM
2 Comments:
oh my gosh feese....i wanna pee my pants everytime I read your blog...Hey, but the good thing is that you can write all you want about Juan next door and the likelyhood of him being in that 37% that actually use the internet sounds rather slim...so you can say whatever the heck you want about him....!!!!
I'm glad you're not pregnant...I'm not either.
When are you gonna marry A.? Tell me when you do.
Also being fondled by a family member....
SLG
Amazing, Sara! The randomness somehow made pefect, logical sense. I don't know if it's because I'm here in Madrid...but, I've noticed the same things to, for example, the pregnant women. They are everywhere. And to elaborate on the car situation here in Spain, I love it how if the driver of the 1st car at a red light maybe breathes for a second before stepping on the gas peddle when the light turns green, the 2nd, 3rd and 4th cars honk. Are you really in THAT much of a hurry?
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