Bath time with the Arabs
Wow. I just finished reading the most hilarious blog in the whole world. Mine can´t even compare. Dang, why does life always have to be about comparing? I suppose it doesn´t, that´s just mine. Anyhooters. Speaking of hooters...they have one in Seville now! There are no sit down American restaurants here and the first one they choose is Hooters? Interesting choice. I hear they are known for the ¨chicken wings¨ Chicken wings my @ss! Maybe I should just apply there for extra money. Bwah!
I couldn´t sleep in here if I tried. There are three noises that are a daily occurence around these parts. 1) The flute man. It sounds like an Indian Chief serenading the dead spirits or something. When, in actuality it´s the knife sharpening guy. Apparently if you desire to have any particular knife sharpened take it to this guy. ¨Hey honey where are you going?¨ ¨I´m going to the knife sharpening guy at 9am. I´ll just take my knives and walk down the street with them and try to act normal.¨ ¨OK, see you soon!¨ 2) Microphone Man. There are white trucks with big old megaphones basically taped to the roof with duct tape and the microphone man is screaming todays daily special at the local supermarket. I feel like I´m in a world war or something. ..and I´m randomly reminded of Hitler? 3)The Gas Man. Remember how I told you I have to light this thingy to take a shower? Well, there are those gas tank thingys...basically like the ones you have for your grill. Well, that guy has a truck and he rides around the neighborhood, hops out of the truck, bangs all of the tanks together, and then continues to drive around...repeating steps two and three. Apparently if I want some more gas (ha) I go to my balcony at approx. 9:15 am and scream, hey, up here gas man! For the love of God STOP banging the dang gas tanks against one another. It´s like nails on a chalkboard, I then have skin like a chicken at 9:16 in the morning when I should be sleeping but I can´t because indian man, hitler himself and gas man are all annoying the crap out of me!!!!!
I heard someone use the word ¨bamboozled¨ today. Is that really a word? I like it.
So, we went to the campo today. A bird escaped. We have no idea how, it´s just not there. Sad, but true. No underwear for the dog today, apparently she ate her way out of them. Poor dog.
Today I also went to the Arab baths with two friends. I have never been to such a place in my lifetime. It was awesome. It´s always weird to get naked in front of your friends. WHAT!! Let me explain. You go into a dressing room and you have to put your bathing suit on before you enter the baths, sauna or jacuzzi. But, it was just one big room, so there were no bathrooms or anything. Hmm. Lot´s of things go through a girls mind when they know they have to get naked 1)Did I shave? 2)How does my butt look?? 3)I´m so embarrassed 4)I hope they aren´t looking at me 5)What can I do so they can´t see me?? and the list goes on and on. You try to cover yourself up with a towel or something, but the other girls aren´t because they are already moms so I feel like once you´ve had a child anything goes. So then you just feel like a prude. Eventually you just say aww screw it and strip and change...hoping to God that they don´t glance your way. Which is awkward too because you don´t want to be too silent because it may seem like you´re weird, but at the same time you don´t want to be naked and be like ¨So, how´s the weather?¨
Phew. Finally, the bathing suit was on. So, then it was right to the massage table. I had never gotten a professional massage in my life. Once again..awkward. Thank goodness it was a girl. I had to take my top off so I´m sure she saw my jugs. Once again I was thinking, are my legs hairy..This was a leg, back, head and arm massage. Also thinking ¨I hope I don´t have any zits on my back¨ also thinking ¨this is weird that this girl I don´t even know is totally massaging my body and in between my legs¨ next thought ¨this is awesome please don´t ever stop¨ next thought ¨no, for the love of God it can´t be over!¨ next thought ¨crap, I have to sit up again and I have no top on, will she see my hooties¨ next thought, ¨ oh well who the heck cares¨
Then there were three different rooms with three different kinds of baths and a sauna. Too bad I burnt my foot on some crazy hot air that was coming out of the corner in the sauna. I totally couldn´t see antyhing beacause it was so steamy and I just screamed DANG super loud. oops. Didn´t get the memo that the room would have an echo and that there were signs everywhere that said ¨Please talk in a low voice.¨ I´m pretty sure they wanted to kick me out. Why do I always have to be ¨that girl?¨
I also got whistled and honked at today as I walk down the street like I was some kind of a duck. I have always been confused as to why guys do this here?? Do they think I will be impressed and walk over to them and be forever theirs?? I basically want to kick them, hard.
Out and over,
Like President Bushs´popularity.
Feese
I couldn´t sleep in here if I tried. There are three noises that are a daily occurence around these parts. 1) The flute man. It sounds like an Indian Chief serenading the dead spirits or something. When, in actuality it´s the knife sharpening guy. Apparently if you desire to have any particular knife sharpened take it to this guy. ¨Hey honey where are you going?¨ ¨I´m going to the knife sharpening guy at 9am. I´ll just take my knives and walk down the street with them and try to act normal.¨ ¨OK, see you soon!¨ 2) Microphone Man. There are white trucks with big old megaphones basically taped to the roof with duct tape and the microphone man is screaming todays daily special at the local supermarket. I feel like I´m in a world war or something. ..and I´m randomly reminded of Hitler? 3)The Gas Man. Remember how I told you I have to light this thingy to take a shower? Well, there are those gas tank thingys...basically like the ones you have for your grill. Well, that guy has a truck and he rides around the neighborhood, hops out of the truck, bangs all of the tanks together, and then continues to drive around...repeating steps two and three. Apparently if I want some more gas (ha) I go to my balcony at approx. 9:15 am and scream, hey, up here gas man! For the love of God STOP banging the dang gas tanks against one another. It´s like nails on a chalkboard, I then have skin like a chicken at 9:16 in the morning when I should be sleeping but I can´t because indian man, hitler himself and gas man are all annoying the crap out of me!!!!!
I heard someone use the word ¨bamboozled¨ today. Is that really a word? I like it.
So, we went to the campo today. A bird escaped. We have no idea how, it´s just not there. Sad, but true. No underwear for the dog today, apparently she ate her way out of them. Poor dog.
Today I also went to the Arab baths with two friends. I have never been to such a place in my lifetime. It was awesome. It´s always weird to get naked in front of your friends. WHAT!! Let me explain. You go into a dressing room and you have to put your bathing suit on before you enter the baths, sauna or jacuzzi. But, it was just one big room, so there were no bathrooms or anything. Hmm. Lot´s of things go through a girls mind when they know they have to get naked 1)Did I shave? 2)How does my butt look?? 3)I´m so embarrassed 4)I hope they aren´t looking at me 5)What can I do so they can´t see me?? and the list goes on and on. You try to cover yourself up with a towel or something, but the other girls aren´t because they are already moms so I feel like once you´ve had a child anything goes. So then you just feel like a prude. Eventually you just say aww screw it and strip and change...hoping to God that they don´t glance your way. Which is awkward too because you don´t want to be too silent because it may seem like you´re weird, but at the same time you don´t want to be naked and be like ¨So, how´s the weather?¨
Phew. Finally, the bathing suit was on. So, then it was right to the massage table. I had never gotten a professional massage in my life. Once again..awkward. Thank goodness it was a girl. I had to take my top off so I´m sure she saw my jugs. Once again I was thinking, are my legs hairy..This was a leg, back, head and arm massage. Also thinking ¨I hope I don´t have any zits on my back¨ also thinking ¨this is weird that this girl I don´t even know is totally massaging my body and in between my legs¨ next thought ¨this is awesome please don´t ever stop¨ next thought ¨no, for the love of God it can´t be over!¨ next thought ¨crap, I have to sit up again and I have no top on, will she see my hooties¨ next thought, ¨ oh well who the heck cares¨
Then there were three different rooms with three different kinds of baths and a sauna. Too bad I burnt my foot on some crazy hot air that was coming out of the corner in the sauna. I totally couldn´t see antyhing beacause it was so steamy and I just screamed DANG super loud. oops. Didn´t get the memo that the room would have an echo and that there were signs everywhere that said ¨Please talk in a low voice.¨ I´m pretty sure they wanted to kick me out. Why do I always have to be ¨that girl?¨
I also got whistled and honked at today as I walk down the street like I was some kind of a duck. I have always been confused as to why guys do this here?? Do they think I will be impressed and walk over to them and be forever theirs?? I basically want to kick them, hard.
Out and over,
Like President Bushs´popularity.
Feese
posted by Sara at 1:30 AM
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