Big Johnson

This happened on Friday morning and it´s Sunday night. I´m still not even really sure what to say....so here goes nothin.´

Disclaimer:I know it seems like some of the stuff I write is made up and you´re thinking..ya right, that didn´t happen. Oh no, it did and it does. It´s like nothing out of the ordinary happens to other people and it´s only saved for me. It´s saved and then plopped on my plate like a big pile of mashed potatoes and then someone puts peanut butter on it. Ya, Awkward.

Ok, so Friday morning I went to work. I get there at 9 everyday and usually my boss´husband answers the door. It´s always a big pajama party because all three of us wake up the babies and then feed them breakfast. So, her husband answered the door holding the daughter and wearing a short bathrobe. Short being a few inches above the knee. He then proceeds to sit on the couch spread eagle and ya..I saw his wanker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, it was hanging out, flying in the wind, ok, walking stick anyone? I wasn´t staring at it or anything, (haha) but I saw enough to know that it was out........and that it was way too early in the morning to see a strangers John Thomas.

P to the E to the N to the I to the S.

Are you getting this people?????????? WHY does this stuff happen to me? Honeslty, why?

So, it´s out and at that point I really just did not know what to do. I mean...what do I say, ¨Ya, your snake is out of its cage so if you could just put it away that would be great.¨ But I couldn´t find my tongue at this point so I just nonchalantly left the room. While exiting I was thinking..Ok, I´m going to leave and give him time to realize his ol´one-eye is out and he´ll have time to put it away.

I went into the kitchen and found my boss with her son. She gave him to me and said, ¨Why dont you just head back to the family room while I prepare his bottle?¨ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Please don´t make me go back there (I wanted to scream) but I just took her son and sort of whimpered like a lost dog as I walked out of the room.

I had hope, I really did that it would be put away.......but nope. ..the ole´spunk stick was still as happy as ever to see me. Talk about awkward. I sat on a chair as far away as I could and was staring out the window......he was talking to me and I wanted to scream. ... I CAN SEE YOUR PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, THEN I was thinking, Ok, his wife is going to come out and surely notice and tell him to put it away. Guess again. She comes out and I guess is so used to seeing it that she did NOT notice and we all proceeded to have a conversation while the skin flute was doing it´s thang. All in all, a good ten minutes of full on naked penis. What a fabulous way to start a morning.

And this folks, is the story of my life.

Thoughts how I can go through a week without seeing strangers wangs and weiners? Anything? No, nothing?

Avoiding twigs........and berries.

Sara