worst nightmare. check.

So, I wasn´t tired last night due to my two hour siesta in the afternoon. A had gone to bed and I was watching the classic Patch Adams on the couch. It was 130 am. So, I felt something crawling on me and guess what it was? A COCKROACH! I´m pretty sure it touched my boob. Did I mention I´m terrified of cockroaches? Even seeing them makes me want to throw up so imagine my disgust when one decided to feel me up. I have never screamed so loud in my life. I jumped up and ran into our bedroom. By this time I was hysterical and crying. I woke A up out of REM sleep which is just...bad. So, he´s all ¨What´s wrong?¨ And I´m all ¨Cockroach on the couch!!! KILL IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¨ So, as I hunkered down under the sheets feeling violated and disgusted I hear WHAP WHAP. He used my slippers that I had just gotten out of the washing machine to crush the cockroach. And I´m sure that our neighbors thought some serious domestic violence was going on. Who screams at 130 am? I DO! But seriously, cockroaches appear out of thin air! Where are they coming from? Did you know that they fly too? My friend lives on the FOURTH floor and he said one day he was sitting at his kitchen table eating and WHACK one flew in the window and hit him right in the forehead!

Did I mention I hate cockroaches? That´s the second one we killed this weekend. On Sat night as I was putting the clothes on the line A said, ¨Don´t move!¨ Great. As he went to get the mop to whack it´s head off I imagined this gigantic cockroach coming over and biting my achilles heel and I´d never be able to walk again.

WHY do I have cockroaches in my home? I always imagined them in homes of filth and disgusting people. I promise you my house is CLEAN. I´m the grab the bottle of bleach girl clean. Sat I spent four hours cleaning an already clean flat because I was bored. GO AWAY COCKROACHES!!!!!!!! Or else...

They say that if there was a nuclear bomb cockroaches would be the only species to survive.
Damn you!