gyno small talk

Going to the gyno is just about as much as stepping into a pile of poop. It´s that fun.

I´ve never gone in Spain before, but I had to bite the bullet and I´m proud to report that everything is Okay down under.

However, is gyno small talk really necessary? The doctor´s all, ¨So, how long have you been in Spain? Tell me about when you studied abroad here? Why don´t you just tell me your whole life story?........¨

Uh, hello I can´t speak cuz I have tongs up my twat (Did I just say twat? AWESOME!) and alhough you´re trying to make small talk I´m still fully aware that I am butt naked with my ass and crotch lingering in your face and you are stuffing things into my privates probably thinking of your supper. I´m also trying to squeeze in a fart and the whole time I´m thinking, ¨What if I fart? Don´t fart don´t fart don´t fart.¨ However......what if she hadn´t have said anything and we would have just been silent. That might have been awkward too. Either way I think it´s a lose lose situation.

It was actually kind of cool because she stuck a camera up there and she´s all...¨Ok, now look at the screen, this is your left ovary, your right ovary and something about a hole and the miracle of life..........¨ some other stuff I can´t remember. It is however a bit much to see your cervix on a Friday afternoon.

I actually went to the doc with my friend. You go into the bathroom and change and there was a towel you cover up with and booties for your feet. My friend went in after me and we are certain it was the same towel and booties.

This is a mystery to us. The Spanish are so clean...like anal about ¨GOD FORBID there be a crumb on the kitchen floor. Lets mop the streets. Lets mop 24/7 like it´s our job.¨

BUT 99 percent of them DO NOT wash their hands after going to the bathroom and my friend and I draped our naked bodies in the same towel. Who used the towel before me? What if I got pubic lice? And then come the questions....

So you see.......these are fun things I go through in Spain and I thought I needed to inform you!

Now that your updated on my vaginal status.....Good Day!